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SBU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

My Top 10 Red Flags Within Relationships

Alexandra Iannarelli Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Not everyone is perfect; we all have our little issues that make us who we are, but certain people have some serious red flags you need to avoid. Some are worse than others, but in my opinion, these are the bottom of the barrel. I will say, these are not in order; they are just the 10 worst I’ve experienced. 

1. Talking about their ex. 

First off, you’re with someone else; why is your ex always being brought up? In every conversation, they find some wiggle room to pop their ex into the story. Just stop bringing up past relationships into every conversation. 

2. Love bombing.

I have one word for this. WHY? Love bombing is the worst thing mankind has ever come up with. It is pure evil and a waste of time for both parties. 

3. Eating with their mouth open. 

This is just flat out gross. This is just a regular pet peeve of mine, but it’s completely different when you’re romantically interested in said person. 

4. Emotional unavailability. 

I know it’s common for some guys to struggle with their emotions, but if you can’t tell me your feelings, this isn’t going to work. Communicating with your partner is the key step to having a healthy relationship, and without being vulnerable with your emotions, there’s little to no chance that it will work out in the long run. 

5. Controlling behavior. 

If your every move is being controlled by your significant other, GET OUT. This is so unhealthy and so bad for your mental state if you want to be in a relationship. Both people should be able to have their own lives outside of the relationship, so when one person is trying to control the other, sorry, but it isn’t working. 

6. Getting serious too fast.

Some people may not agree, but if I hear you tell me you love me two weeks into the relationship, we’re done. Especially since we’re all still quite young, we don’t exactly know what love is just yet, so hold your horses and keep that saying away for a while. 

7. Excessive jealousy.

We’re in college, and we’re trying to make friends with whoever we can. When your partner is jealous that you’re hanging out with other people besides them, it is not only crazy, but it ties back into the controlling aspect. 

8. Avoiding responsibility. 

You’re not incompetent; you are able to be an independent person. People who rely on others way too much and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions need to be held accountable. You are your own person, act like it. 

9. The silent treatment.

To start off, this is just childish. The silent treatment is the completely wrong way to handle situations. I hope that no one still chooses this as their first option after being faced with conflict. 

10. Being disrespectful. 

I saved this one for last for a reason. Disrespect has to be one of the most unattractive things someone can be. It’s not cool that you’re rude to your parents; it’s downright ugly. 

Hopefully, I am not the only one who believes these red flags are inferior, and my hope is that these will help judge if the next person you’re in a relationship with is the right one or not. Overall, if someone does any of these red flags on this list, RUN. 

Alexandra Iannarelli

SBU '29

Alexandra Iannarelli is in her second year with Her Campus! She is a sophomore at St. Bonaventure and is majoring in public health, minoring in health science, and is in the occupational therapy masters program! Alex will be writing weekly articles about anything in her life or even silly things happening around campus.

So far she has been involved in Her Campus, of course, and SBU Power Yoga. Beyond the clubs she is in, Alex also works on campus as a math tutor and loves to help and teach people.

In high school, Alex played volleyball, ran and did hurdles for the track team, and for about 9 years was a competitive cheerleader! Although quiet at times she is pretty outgoing and loves trying new things when the opportunity arises. Traveling is her favorite and she hopes to travel the world one day! Little things about Alex include her love for collecting records! She has multiple genres of music in her collection and she hopes to continue to expand said collection. Another little hobby of hers is going to the gym and doing yoga. Alex is into yoga, pilates, and she has been going to the gym for a little over two years now. She has been known to be somewhat of a health-nut, in her dorm there are protein bars galore and many other typical healthy snacks. She can't wait to continue her years in Her Campus sharing her stories.