This was my first year as a college student and let me tell you, this year was stressful.
I knew coming into college, there would be points where the workload would be a little much, but I was not prepared for this. As someone who never had to study or try very hard throughout high school and still managed to pass with a 4.0 (don’t ask me how, I have no clue), I never got accustomed to any study skills.
That being said, it has been so difficult to keep up with school work, work two jobs, have time for clubs and my friend group, and learn how to actually study so I will pass my exams.
Don’t get me wrong, I have had a great time here. This has probably been one of the best experiences of my life so far. I’ve met so many new people, made so many great friends, I love being involved, but I just haven’t been up to my standard for grades.
Before I go into my grades, let me clarify, I currently have all A’s and B’s. I just used to be an all-A’s girly, and I want to be back to that again.
I’ve had some classes where I fly right through them, not needing to study and still getting an A, but those few others I have B’s in, I want to fix. It’s not that I’m terrible at studying for these classes; I know different study skills I can utilize and work with, but none of them seem to be working for me.
It’s definitely been a learning process. I’ve tried flashcards, rewriting notes, watching videos, and looking up outside resources. I feel like I’ve tried it all. It just doesn’t seem to be enough.
I know it’s ok though. I mean, I still have B’s. They are still good grades. I’m just a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my academics, and these B’s are driving me insane.
Part of me is happy that I am at least trying and putting in the effort for that grade to go up. But the other part of me is mad that it’s not good enough in my eyes.
It’s all just a working process. The process of me learning new study strategies and the process of me learning to be ok with my best not being perfect. I mean, to me, no one is perfect. I’ve always thought that, and I’ve always been the one to help others see that they don’t have to be perfect, but I just can’t seem to take my own advice.
But let’s be real, who ever takes their own advice.