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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

Breaking up in any relationship, whether it be a friendship or romantic relationship, is hard. I am currently going through a breakup, so here are a few things I have learned on the way of breaking up with my partner to a breaking up with myself.

Breaking up with yourself might sound like a paradoxical concept at first glance. After all, how can you separate from the very person you are? However, upon closer inspection, this idea encapsulates a profound process of self-reflection, transformation and ultimately self-love.

Breaking up with yourself is not about abandoning who you are or disowning your identity. Instead, it’s about shedding outdated beliefs, behaviors and patterns that no longer serve your growth and wellbeing. It involves introspection, confronting uncomfortable truths and making courageous choices to let go of aspects of yourself that hinder your progress. 

Embarking on the journey of breaking up with yourself requires courage and vulnerability. It’s about peeling back the layers of conditioning, societal expectations and past experiences to uncover your authentic self. This process involves asking yourself tough questions:

* What beliefs or habits are holding me back?

* Am I staying in situations that no longer align with my values?

* What fears am I allowing to dictate my actions?

* How can I nurture a deeper sense of self-compassion and acceptance?

Breaking up with yourself often entails letting go of relationships, career paths or identities that no longer resonate with who you are becoming. It’s about acknowledging that growth sometimes requires pruning, releasing and making space for new possibilities.

This phase can be painful and disorienting. It may involve grief, uncertainty and a sense of loss. However, it’s also an opportunity for renewal and rebirth. By shedding the old, you create space for the new and invite fresh opportunities for growth, joy and fulfillment into your life.

Throughout this journey, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate the complexities of change. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the process.

Remember that breaking up with yourself is not about perfection but about embracing your humanity. Allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions that arise, and lean on your support network for guidance and encouragement.

As you continue on this journey, you’ll discover a deeper sense of authenticity and alignment with your true self. You’ll uncover passions, talents and desires that may have been buried beneath layers of conformity or fear.

Embrace these discoveries wholeheartedly. Honor your uniqueness and trust in your innate wisdom to guide you forward. Remember that true fulfillment comes from living in alignment with your authentic self, rather than conforming to external expectations.

Breaking up with yourself is a profound journey of self-discovery, growth and transformation. It’s about releasing old patterns, beliefs and identities that no longer serve your highest good and embracing your authentic self with courage and compassion.

Though challenging, this process opens the door to new possibilities and opportunities for fulfillment. Embrace the journey, trust in your resilience and know that by breaking up with the old, you create space for a more vibrant and authentic life.

Paityn Billard is a first-year member of the Her Campus at the SBU chapter. She plans on writing about literature, psychology of women, and anything else that comes to mind. Paityn is a currently a first-year student studying Psychology. Aside from Her Campus Paityn is involved with the SBU Bowling Club. She is heavily involved with her county's politics, such as campaign managing, and working for Oneida County Workforce Development. In her free time, Paityn enjoys reading, being outdoors, bowling, as well as hanging out with her family and pets at home.