I can still picture my senior year of high school—it was a total whirlwind of excitement as I looked forward to college, the next big step in my life. The months felt like they crawled by, but my feelings were a mix of thrill and a bit of anxiety. By the time graduation rolled around, I was so ready to dive into this new adventure. I filled my summer days with trips with friends, binge-watching shows, catching up with family, and work, all in hopes that time would hurry up so I could finally be a college student.
But, once I actually got to college, the excitement quickly faded into the reality of life there. The workload hit me hard—late-night study sessions and a mountain of assignments became the norm. Making friends in a crowd of strangers was both fun and a bit scary. Living with a roommate I hardly knew pushed me out of my comfort zone, and moving out of my childhood home felt pretty bittersweet.
I was looking forward to the independence college promised, but I’ve always been really close to my family. I love my personal space, but I also enjoy sharing that space with my loved ones—just hanging out and sharing meals together. In college, those close moments are way different, but I’ve learned to find new ways to keep that emotional connection alive.
I call my parents almost every day. I take breaks from studying just to chat with my mom. If she’s off work, I might call her a couple of times just to catch up or share something funny that happened. With my dad, I often shoot him random texts or mention things from my chat with my mom, just to get his take on it. These little chats mean everything to me—they keep me grounded, even with the distance.
Couples say they have a song; I say my mom and I have a song. It’s the one thing I listen to when I can’t have my mom’s words or her actually around me. This song plays on repeat. It makes me sad, but it’s real and raw and takes all of these feelings I just talked about and puts them into a song. Can you guess the song? “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift.
Will I ever admit to them that I dread going back to school because I miss them constantly? To be honest, probably not. They sense it anyway; parents always do. We always share light-hearted jokes when it’s time for me to go back to campus. I might pretend it’s no big deal, but we all know the truth.
I’m left wondering: does this ever get easier? Does the ache of missing them fade with time, no matter how far apart we are? Even now, whenever I go home, it feels like an emotional tug-of-war when it’s time to leave. I often find myself holding back tears in front of them or breaking down the second I get back to my dorm after a visit. That longing to be near them sticks around like a bittersweet shadow in my heart.