When I first started becoming acquainted with TikTok, it was around the time that I was going into my freshman year of high school. For those who do not know, TikTok is an app where people can share videos of themselves. Around this time, I was a 14-year-old girl, struggling with self-confidence, stuck in a toxic friend group that just wanted to “fit in.” Because of this, I was way too afraid to even post one video of myself on the account I made.
Throughout the next five years or so, all I did was watch content on this app. I loved watching other people’s creative videos, I would even think about if I posted on this app, what it would be. But still, I was way too scared to even think about making a post until the end of 2024.
I finally believe I got out of the stage of my life where everything is embarrassing. I spent my entire time in high school and even into my freshman year of college stuck in this mindset. I was way too scared to be authentic, have a personality, or even share different parts of my life. I had finally grown into the person I always wanted to be. Because of this, I decided I wanted to start posting TikToks of myself.
The first video I posted was simply me showing off my outfit. In all honestly I had never really had “good” style until my sophomore year of college. Because of this, I wanted to show myself whether I was getting ready to go out or going to class, so I got to model my clothes through these videos. I posted these videos for around eight months or so, but I posted them as a story (they delete after 24 hours) because, partly, I was still a little nervous to post an actual video that stayed on my account.
Finally, one day, I found the courage. I remember it was around 11 at night in August, and I came across this TikTok trend. The trend was to show pictures of yourself through growth. As most people in my life know, I grew an incredible amount as a person over the span of my sophomore year, with a majority of the growth happening when I was going into my junior year. I made the rash decision to upload a video, and I have never regretted it since. Although my account was private, so only people who followed me could see it, it still made me feel like an “influencer” in a way.
Over the next two months, after this, I posted a few videos until I decided there was a video to make worth it enough to make my account public. For those who don’t know, I struggled with anorexia my sophomore year of college. I ended up recovering from it the summer going into my junior year.
After coming out to many people about my experience, I decided I wanted to make a TikTok devoted to it. Except this time, I wanted to make it a public video. Solely so I could be an example to help others who may be struggling with what I went through. This video was one of the bigger ones I made that was able to reach a larger audience.
Since then, I have been using my account as a way to show different parts of my life. Whether it is going on runs, a day in my life, or simply me manifesting a positive mindset, and in a way, this has helped me. Since I was a child, I have always dreamed of being able to post different parts of my life for people to see online. This has given me an outlet to be creative and show my interests to others. Through this, I have been able to find people who attend my college on social media through this app, whom I had not met before.
Overall, this has been such an incredible experience to share parts of my life on a TikTok account. Not only do I get to live out my childhood dream, but I also get to hopefully inspire others.