As we know, in coming-of-age-based entertainment, there is some big, rite-of-passage moment that shakes the whole plot. Whether it is finding a soulmate in a high school sweetheart, going to some big unforgettable party, or suffering through what seems like an earth-shattering breakup, often with that soulmate of a sweetheart or your best friend turned enemy. These movies and TV shows lead us to set insanely high expectations of what we think our lives should look like.
Life is messier, more unpredictable, and does not have neatly tied-up resolutions. And we need to know that it is completely acceptable if our experiences do not measure up to these jaw-dropping plots.
I used to wonder if something was missing. I didn’t have a high school sweetheart or go to some big life-changing house party. I didn’t have a monumental falling-out with anyone. My life didn’t and still hasn’t ever felt like a movie. I follow pretty much the same routine every week. Nothing too notable happens—just a quiet series of Wednesdays. Nothing too dramatic, nothing too defining.
But one thing stands out: my friends.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had the closest friends. They are the ones that make ordinary days feel like they are full and feel like they are noteworthy. And that is enough. They show up persistently, for the quiet chaos of life. Whether it is a late-night dance party to Bruce Springsteen, or sitting by the river admiring the sunset, laughing so hard we cannot breathe.
I can say in full confidence that I have always been able to find my people, the ones who know me better than anyone else, the ones I consider my sisters. They show up again and again.
They have made me realize that life does not need to be this rollercoaster of ups and downs, it does not need to be a highlight reel of life-changing events. It doesn’t need some sort of conclusion where all problems get wrapped up by graduation. It can be made up of shared rituals and inside jokes that come with laughter that doesn’t need explaining. It can be steady, subtle, and still significant.
Maybe this is the kind of story we need more of: one where life isn’t loud, but lasting. Maybe it should be about the people who remain constant and don’t only show up for the climax. Our lives do not need to be huge performances, just a combination of experiences that are felt and shared.