When I think about the past three years of college, I remember every semester being full of feelings of stress/anxiety.
Thinking back even further into the past, I would describe my high school years similarly. Like many, I was always characterized as a student who always strived to excel, even if I was, and still am, a terrible procrastinator! But, with the mindset of always trying to improve or accomplish more academically along with juggling extracurricular sports and clubs began the feelings of stress and anxiety.
About two years ago, I took the Meyers-Briggs Assessment that determines what one out of 16 personality types I belong to. My results concluded that my personality type is ISFJ. Thinking about it now, it all makes sense why my emotions, both good and bad, can get the best of me. The F in ISFJ stands for feeling, as opposed to those who may be more of a thinker.
Over the past two years, I have learned a lot about myself in the sense that I didn’t realize my capability of expressing emotions to their fullest extent, while also tending to let all of my emotions bottle up over time. Therefore, I would like to list some of the emotions and feelings I have dealt with recently, and what I would do differently regarding them.
Stress:
One of my biggest regrets is letting chronic stress, anxiety and burnout take away from the college experience. Looking back, the friends I have made at college have seen me in a state of burnout or anxiety more than they have seen me able to be carefree during our time together. I even began to realize the physical toll stress had on my body. Trust me when I say it does not feel good when an acquaintance looks at you and says, “You look exhausted” and my following response was, “Well, I got eight hours of sleep.” At that moment, I realized what my friends saw when they looked at me every day. In addition to the dark circles under my eyes, I felt constant exhaustion along with stress-induced stomach pains as the end of the semester approached.
My advice to anyone who has let stress overwhelm them like I have, is to take a moment to think about what exactly it is you’re stressing out over. It was only recently that I realized that something I had been worrying about for a while, in reality, was something so minuscule compared to something that deserved the amount of stress I had dedicated to it. Trust me when I say that there have been several things I stressed about for weeks and I now look back almost laughing at myself for worrying so much.
Love:
Whether it is family, friends or that special someone, and the differing levels of love I dedicate to each of these groups, I don’t have any regret for dedicating a piece of my heart to every one of them. While I have found myself worrying about several loved ones at the same time whether it is because they might drink too much, are going through an unfortunate experience or have health issues, I wouldn’t change anything because, at the end of the day, I’m so grateful that I have so many wonderful people in my life. But, I have to admit, navigating strong feelings for a person who you are around constantly can be difficult for the first time.
Seeing the best in people:
I have to say, always trying to see the best in people is something I wish I would do less. While first impressions of people are not always accurate, sometimes I wish I avoided seeing something good or maybe feeling a sense of compassion for someone that I think/know is not a good person or not a person who should be a part of my life. Furthermore, I wish I wouldn’t feel bad for a person who beforehand showed me their nasty true colors.
While I wish I had learned how to manage certain emotions, especially stress, earlier on, I don’t regret the opportunities I have had with people who have made it feasible for me to experience new emotions. It is from these experiences that I hope to recognize how to identify each emotion and remedy those that are not necessary.