There is a trend on TikTok where the sound says, “Some people throw dirt, others plant flowers, it is all a garden to me.” Whenever I see this, I like to sit and think about myself, why I act the way I do, why I think certain things, what makes me, me. Now I believe that your mindset, your perspective, all comes from you. You still make those choices.
But the adjustment of your mindsets, perspectives, and more can all occur because of others.
My mom
My beautiful, strong, thoughtful, and wonderful mother. I believe that most of my best qualities of care and helping others come from her. Even in her darkest moments, she would put aside herself and reach out to others.
This is my favorite thing that I think I have of hers. It makes me who I am. If a friend came to me and said I’m struggling or I need help, I would drop my problems, put aside my homework, and make sure they are okay. I am who I surround myself with, and I want them to be the best and brightest out there.
Because of the woman she is, if I can ever become the mother, woman, and person she is, I will have accomplished a great goal.
Ben
Ben is my best friend from home. We have matching tattoos, so he is stuck with me. Haha.
From him, I get his confidence, willingness to try, and downright laughter. He is confident about himself, his future dreams, and unapologetic about it. I sometimes try to think about what he would do in the times I am struggling. His laugh puts a smile on my face, even if I just think about it.
We may not talk a lot, and see each other less sometimes, but never a day goes by that if I call him up, he will support me through most. The conversation never dries up, and even when it sits in a room, it doesn’t drain me. Most people do, so this is a big thing to say.
Blair
To describe Blair, there is another TikTok trend, where you are supposed to ask your friend why you are friends.
I spent a long time thinking about it, and after a few days, I realized that he brings this calm into my life; he brings a voice of reason and more. If you have listened to him speak, it’s quiet, slow, and calming. He will understand what is causing me to be upset and break it down to help me.
From Blair, I get his calmness. When I help others through their problems, I do it the same way he helps me. I will listen and absorb what they are saying and continue to check in and make sure they are doing okay.
Cam
She is my childhood best friend; I have been in sync with her since we were babies. There is not a time in my life when I don’t think she was there. Obviously, when we grew up and went to different schools, we drifted apart, but I don’t think there are days when I don’t wonder what she is doing.
I look up to her; she is strong, independent, and her power never falters. If there is one thing I take from her, it is her perseverance. If I know one thing about this girl, it is that she may falter, but within moments, she picks herself back up and keeps on. Nothing gets her down for too long.
Also, she is unapologetically herself. She is confident, happy, and strives for her best every day. I have been through life with her, so there are moments when this falters, but I have never seen her just give up.
I admire her so much. When I have hard days, struggling with schoolwork, I will channel her. I love her dearly, and I don’t picture a life without her. She has been there since the beginning, and she will be there till the end.
Others
Obviously, some things are smaller than what I get from others. I drink my coffee and chai one way because of a friend. I do my makeup in the same order that a best friend from high school taught me. I laugh at the same dumb things that my brother laughs at. I work out in the order that friends told me to. I do my hair the same way an old friend’s mom taught me. I got my music taste from people I never see anymore. I hope to one day take Sean and Grace’s outgoingness, where nothing scares them.
I obviously got some bad things from people, my overthinking, why I think I am not good enough, my procrastination, why I push myself to the brink, where my cup overflows and breaks. These are bad things, and I won’t go into more, or else I’ll cry. And this is positive.
At the end of the day, I am who I am because of me, but it grows from the dirt and flowers that were planted by others in my life. Whether I talk to them every day, once a week, or never again.