Starting my sophomore year of college has felt weird. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something is off. Two of my best friends have transferred to other schools, and the majority of my friends now live across campus. With conflicting class schedules with my friends, I have found myself spending more time alone. Whether sitting solo in the dining hall or studying in the library late at night, I have become more conscious of solitude.
Last year, I was used to large friend groups and constant activity. It seemed, at least in my freshman dorm, that everyone was one big social circle. This school year has certainly been more of a self-sufficient endeavor. My personal friend group shifted completely, and it has certainly not been an easy adjustment. I deeply miss my friends who transferred. It is a strange feeling to go from seeing someone every day and doing nearly everything with them to not seeing them because they now go to a different school.
As a freshman, everything was at my fingertips. Our lifestyle was communal, stress-free, and happy. I have noticed that the dynamic has changed sophomore year. Between internships, classes, sports, and jobs, it seems that everyone is slightly more focused on their personal paths. Friend groups have “solidified” since last year; people discovered who they wanted to surround themselves with. It’s now more challenging to slip into a new social dynamic compared to last year.
As I was thinking about this concept last week, it initially upset me. I was sad about my friends who left, and I was nostalgic for a blissfully simple freshman year that I won’t ever get back. My mind was racing for a few days. A phone call to my mom and an iced coffee calmed me down, of course. When I am not feeling like myself emotionally, I find it helpful to call my parents or friends from home. It’s refreshing to get out of your own head and hear the voices of your loved ones.
With the help of my mom, (who is absolutely fantastic), I am reminded that life is all about perspective. It’s about how you frame things in your mind. I am not getting my freshman year back, and my friend group has shifted. I could use my time and energy to become stressed and anxious about this notion. Instead, I will look at it with a positive mindset. I think to myself “How lucky am I that I got to experience such an incredible freshman year with such exceptional people?” and “I still have not met all of the people that I will love and befriend.”
The way you speak to yourself matters. Especially in uncomfortable and challenging seasons of life.