With Valentines Day around the corner, I’m ready to log off every social media account I have. Seeing cute gifts and date ideas as a girl who hasn’t had a valentine in years is frustrating. Of course, I want someone to put in the effort to plan a date with me, but that seems impossible to find. Everyone asks for your Snapchat or wants to “chill” in their dorm. That’s a no from me. It’s hard not to compare myself to others when I see the relationships they are in. I constantly have to remind myself that everything I see online is simply their highlight reel.
Today I will share what I’ve learned about relationships and how I realized I was simply settling for bad valentines.
It can be so easy to fall into a relationship with someone just because they approach you. It’s nearly impossible to find someone that will even show interest nowadays. But trust me, it is so much better to be single and lonely than with a person who isn’t for you. Situationships, bare minimum treatment, and hook-up culture are all things we deal with when trying to find a real connection in 2026.
Story time: I recently went through my first “situationship” and I have to say it lived up to the stereotypes. I personally don’t understand the appeal of no commitment. This kind of relationship completely lacks emotional connection and feelings. It’s as if both parties establish they are lonely and are simply settling for each other until someone better comes along. What’s the point? It’s a waste of time, effort, and energy, in my opinion.
I learned a lot from this experience though. I realized, too late I think, that I am the opposite of casual. I crave someone who reciprocates. Someone who is emotionally available and doesn’t change their mind about what I mean to them from day to day. This time of year (actually any time of year) I find myself wishing I could find my person. But, dealing with someone who doesn’t care about you is far worse than being alone on Valentines Day.
My biggest piece of advice for those of us who are single this holiday is stop treating your lack of relationship as a flaw. Wishing for the right person to find you is a complete waste of time. Enjoy being alone! College is for friends, fun, and figuring out who you are. Although I still struggle with this myself, I truly believe the cliché is true:
Your person will find you when you aren’t looking.