I never understood, until recently, the importance of going no contact when a relationship ends. Throughout the few relationships I have been in, I have always been optimistic about staying in contact with an ex.
I think part of it is because I have struggled with letting go of talking to someone every day of my life. When I am dating someone, that is the person I go to when something bad or good happens. It is hard to break the pattern of no longer being able to run to that person to find comfort.
However, my opinion has changed on this quite recently.
I was in a relationship for the first half of this year. After we broke up, we did not go no contact. In fact, we stayed in contact even more than we did in our relationship. Up until recently, that was the reality. But, in the last little bit of time, we have gone no contact.
This has been difficult for me to come to terms with. Although we were romantically involved, we were also best friends. Losing the friendship aspect of that was what I struggled to get over. The fact that I no longer have this person, who was my accomplice when it came to daily activities like going grocery shopping or going on walks, has been difficult.
Although this has been difficult, in the end, I believe this was the right choice. Although it may be difficult now, it is not healthy for exes to rely on each other post-relationship. When a strong best friend bond is there as well, it is hard to accept this.
I am coming to terms with it, but it is taking an emotional toll on me. I have been trying to think back on different quotes to help me cope in the meantime. For example, “There is love in holding on and there is love in letting go.” This is essentially saying that prioritizing someone else’s well-being is still an act of love for that person, even if it does not feel like it.
Over the next little bit, I think the best use of this time is going to be to spend time with myself. That sounds cheesy in a way, but learning to be alone is so incredibly important. I think I am better with that idea than I used to be, but I still have some progress to make.
In the end, this is going to be a challenging chapter in my life, but it is also a time when I get to find comfort in myself.