I have always listened to people say that losing your first love hurts the most, and I never believed them until it happened to me. To say the least, losing that first love does truly hurt in ways you could never imagine, the way people always talk about.
Earlier this semester, my three-year relationship ended. I had always imagined what life would be like for me if we had ever broken up, and then it became my reality. No, nothing bad happened; nobody cheated. We just simply could not be what the other person truly needed, and that’s what hurts the most: the fact that you can love someone so much to endure the heartbreak for yourself to save them.Â
We graduated high school together, moved into separate colleges, grew and changed into the people we are, but we still always had each other. He was my best friend, my person I turned to the most, the person I could always count on, and now he’s not here anymore.Â
Looking back, we had many great years with experiences that we had along the way that shaped us into who we are, and that’s something I will forever be grateful for. But why does loving someone so much turn into one of the biggest heartbreaks a girl will ever know?Â
Well, that’s just the way life and love go. You love someone until they’re gone, and you will forever be grateful you had them, but it’s the having them and then losing them that will tear you into pieces.Â
I mean, one day they’re here and the next it’s like you are strangers. You go from talking to someone all day, to learning how to not talk to them whenever you see or hear something you know they would like. The second you know you won’t be with them anymore is the second you feel your heart break.
For example, I was scrolling on social media and saw a post of a car, and he was big into cars, so immediately I went to send it to him and realized I couldn’t do that anymore. My heart sank and tears began to flow, and its constant reminders of him that I will never get used too. He went from being my best friend and my first love to my first heart break.Â
You have someone who is your best friend, and the person you can trust the most. The person who knows you inside and out and doesn’t judge you for the person you are. That best friend then becomes the person you love the most. The person who picks you up when you’re down, the person you celebrate with and grieve with. The person you never imagined losing.Â
So, when you do lose that first love, your heart shatters into a million pieces. But in reality, it doesn’t. You learn how to navigate life without them, but that heartbreak of losing your first love will last forever. They will always hold a piece of your heart, but then just won’t be present anymore.