To the question that Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel once asked each other, “Who can say that I’ve been changed for the better?” I’m here to let the world know that I have been changed for the better, but just because I knew you.Â
From a bumbling, bouncing ball of light in my childhood, to a cool toned stone who needed to be pushed along the pavement sometimes, to a glowing pink star who wore her heart, her mind, and her soul on her sleeve while stepping onto her college campus; I have changed. Transformed, if you will.
I have always been a maximalist, even when minimalism was all the rage. If you step into my room, you’ll see paintings and photos from my own life or from the thrift store that I was lucky enough to find myself and those I love in. You’ll find an abundance of CDs ranging from RED by Taylor Swift to Tubthumper by Chumbawamba next to a stereo covered in Lisa Frank stickers. There are over 100 books stuffed into that little room, filling every corner in uneven little stacks. All of my squishmallows are displayed on my bed making it overly full because I would never want one of them to feel left out.Â
I feel so prideful when I look at my room because all the items I have collected are on display. That’s the dream for a maximalist.Â
My soul, heart, and mind are also maximalists, filled with pieces of those who I love to make me the fullest version of myself.
I love to be myself and have defined things about me that make others say “Oh, that’s so totally Leah”. However, I get to say that I am lucky enough to more so be a conglomeration of all of those who have been kind, compassionate, and brave enough to lend me the best pieces of themselves to help shape me.
I have been formed in love, chipped away at by ignorance and sadness, and reformed by change and kindness.Â
The presence of those I love in my life has given me more than I could have ever asked for. It has given me the most elevated version of myself.
From them, I gain my humor. There are very few people that could simply shift their position on the couch and have me in tears. Shoot me a side look or stick their tongue out in the Butler Basement and have me doubled over. Misunderstand one of the biggest pizza chains in the country and have me pay more attention to laughing than driving on the road. When I make them laugh, I feel accomplished. Their laughs are some of the most cherished sounds in my life.
By them, I am pushed but supported. Whether this is in my academic endeavors, my emotional roadblocks, or simple adventures that I have reservations about, they are always there. To receive a simple TikTok saying that they appreciate the fact that no matter how many times they talk about something I am there to listen makes my heart swell. I immediately send the same one back. It doesn’t feel sufficient because, how can I repay them for allowing me to fail to be able to grow?Â
From them, I gain a home. Not in place, but in belonging. To be in a room where I feel an inch tall and see them lets me exhale a sigh of relief and allow everyone else to melt away.Â
To know them is to love them, and oh boy do I love them. I am so fortunate to live a life where I can say because I know them, I have been changed, for good.