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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I have always felt older than my age. 

Maybe that comes with being the oldest child or missing out on moments from the COVID-19 years, but this feeling is not new to me. 

This year, my senior year, I have felt my oldest. 

It is a tale as old as time that senior year is the year when you realize it was all dreamy and wonderful, but the carefree part of your life is over. 

I know that what I am feeling is some of that, but for some reason, I cannot get over this. 

It hit me this past weekend. It was family weekend at St. Bonaventure and my mom came down to visit. My mom is a single mom and I have two younger siblings, so she has never really been able to come and enjoy family weekend with me. 

When my mom was here we had such an amazing time. It was so cool to have been with her in my environment for most likely the first and only time I would experience it. 

When she left on Sunday, I felt a wave of grief. I felt like I had just lived a moment that I would never get again. 

And that is how it works, I know, that the moments pass you by but to think that soon I will not be able to relive a version of that moment again is saddening. 

I have never actually dreaded getting older either. I am excited to go through the milestones of my life and I always have been. Even at some points, I think I was too excited that I wished much of my youth away. 

Maybe that is it, that I wished so much away, I want it back. Or I want it back to experience what I had before, and now I cannot remember it. 

It is a melancholy feeling. Overall, I wonder if it is extremely common for other people as well. 

I wonder if everyone has the feeling of being old, maybe there is some sense of unity in that. 

I hate to even bring this feeling to the forefront of my brain because I do not yet have a solution or navigation for how to deal with it. 

It is a part of life I feel, but I wonder at what measurement does it start taking control of your brain. 

I feel like this is a feeling that I will have to sit with for a while and let come over me. I cannot rush it or subside it. I need to let it run its course and continue to reiterate that it is all a part of having a human life. 

I am still me, enjoying my life and my moments. 

The best I can do is feel it all. 

Howdy babes, my name is Hadley Thompson and I am super happy to be here. I am from Niagara Falls, NY, and am ready to move where the Buffalo winters aren't so strong, brrrrr. I am a senior political science and journalism double major at St. Bonaventure University. I still remember my first semester writing for HC, I was the only new inductee at our annual interest meeting! It is so awesome to have witnessed this group of insightful and wonderful minds grow throughout the years. As I finish up my time here at Bonas, I hope to combine all of my hobbies and interests as I step into this next chapter of my life. Because I love things like reading, studying politics, environmental studies, chatting it up, writing, and such, I am applying to law school, eek! I will have to keep you updated. I am super excited for this semester amidst all of the changes, senior feelings, and, of course, to be a part of HC @ SBU! :)