I like to say I’m a reader. Yet, I am victim to the terrible cycle of reading slumps.
I’m someone who will find an amazing book, finish it in three to four days, then read another book, finish it in two to three days and then start another book and only get halfway through before falling into a reading slump. A reading slump for me usually lasts months. More than anything I fall into reading slumps during the school year, and this is mostly because I feel guilty for reading or doing really anything that’s not school related. I often think, “Oh, I can’t be reading this book for enjoyment when I could be reading or studying for a class.” THIS IS NOT GOOD!
Feeling guilty for taking some time to relax is not normal, yet I can’t seem to find myself breaking this bad habit. It’s the same thing with taking naps during the day or even bed rotting in between classes, I cannot do it without feeling guilty. One may call this productivity guilt, meaning that if I’m not doing something productive, I feel guilty that I’m wasting my time.
I’m trying to work on this feeling by doing other relaxing things that feel productive enough so that I won’t feel guilty for taking the time out of my day to do these things. Recently I’ve been painting my nails more, exercising and going for walks and I’ve been hanging out with friends more. Those activities unrelated to school have been relaxing for me but they don’t make me feel guilty.
Eventually, I’m trying to get to the point where I can relax and lay in bed and not feel like I’m wasting my time, but it’s a lot easier to preach the idea of not feeling guilty than it is to actually not feel physically guilty.
Rest and relaxation are so important to an individual’s mental and physical wellbeing which is why I’m trying to unlearn that idea that to be productive I need to be doing something either school or work related. I’m trying to learn that selfcare and hobbies are just as important as school and work.
Also, those having lazy days are perfectly fine, days where I simply don’t want to leave my bed are not something to feel guilty about and because they don’t happen often, I should be grateful and seize the opportunity to bed rot all day with a nice book or even by binge watching a show.