Since the end of August, my grandpa has been in the hospital. He was admitted to Roswell Park to undergo surgery to remove a cancerous tumor in his lung. The surgery went great, and he was expected to stay for about two weeks for observation. The next day after the surgery, his health took a turn that nobody in my family expected. Something that was supposed to be easy and simple turned out to be a three-month-long nightmare.
Ever since I was a baby, I spent the majority of my life at my grandparents’ house due to my parents working extended hours. My papa specifically has been someone who has raised me. He taught me right from wrong, how to ride a bike, why it’s important to be myself, and spent hours upon hours helping me with homework. My papa is someone who I absolutely believe I wouldn’t be who I am today without him.
When this situation first began, I kept telling my family and my papa to think positively and that things would all be okay. I can now speak for myself that it’s really hard to keep thinking positively when you’re surrounded by so much negativity. Every day, I pray and pray for improvement in my papa’s health and even a miracle to occur.
To see someone you love and care about in this scary, unknown situation is truly heartbreaking. Even though he is still with us today, the life he is experiencing is no life that he would’ve wanted to live. Throughout the course of this journey, he had lost his ability to speak, walk, eat, drink, and breathe on his own. Now, hopefully this is all temporary, but it is scary to wonder what his life may look like if he is discharged from the hospital.
As his granddaughter, all I want is for him to be able to resume back to his life as he had before Aug. 29. I would do anything to bring him home and see him simply sip a cup of black coffee and sit on the couch with his dog. I wake up in the morning and look at my home screen, where I have a picture of the two of us saved just to remind myself of the good memories. Sometimes I even forget that this is all occurring and that this is real life, but then I realize that it’s not me forgetting, but it’s my brain trying to find ways to deny that this is actually happening.
This whole experience has truly been life-changing. My outlook on life has been altered, and my gratitude has extended. You never know how many blessings you have until they get taken away from you. Count your blessings every day. With all this being said, I don’t want sympathy, but instead I want to have just one day where he is able to come home and we can spend a whole day together again.