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SBU | Life > Experiences

Dating with a Broken Pancreas

Ella McIntyre Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

One thing I will never shut up about is the fact that I am and have been a type one diabetic since I was six months old. Seriously, I am insufferable about it. One thing that I am eternally grateful for is my support system.

Specifically, my darling boyfriend, John Mincher. Don’t get me wrong, I also have plenty of platonic relationships with others who support me and make sure I know I’m well-loved as a person living with type one diabetes. It’s something that I think platonic relationships can take on naturally, yet when looking at the dating world, expecting your partner to take on that role is something that not everyone agrees with.

It has been my experience that it is difficult to find a significant other who supports your chronic condition without being too overbearing, trying to “fix” you, or being completely unbothered and/or unwilling to help when it comes to managing your chronic condition.

Luckily for me, I have survived the dating world and landed with a significant other who loves and supports me and my accompanying chronic condition. Here’s a small list of things he does that make me feel as normal as one can be.

To any person with a chronic condition: don’t settle. Your special person who will make you feel loved and well supported is out there <3

  1. Just straight up forgets about it 

Starting off strong, I know. The amount of time he has suggested I get my CDL (fancy drivers’ license for big scary trucks). Getting a CDL license is an incredibly difficult process, especially for someone with type one diabetes. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he suggested I attempt to get my CDL permit. He explained how the first step is peeing in a cup to prove you’re not a diabetic; he finished his sentence and waited a second before it dawned on him that I would not pass this test.

Although it’s nice when people acknowledge the pancreas attached to my hip, it creates really fun and sweet memories that are near to my heart when friends and people in my life think of me as a normal person who doesn’t have to deal with a chronic condition. 

  1. Medical adhesive tapes and changing medical devices 

I don’t think I’ve met anyone who gets more excited to say, “Can I stab you?” than my boyfriend. This is in reference to me stabbing myself with a needle rather than pulling said needle out so that I am able to administer insulin through my insulin pump.

It’s incredibly endearing to see someone lovingly ask to stab you with a needle. When Minch is unable to stab me (since he goes to a college three hours away), he chooses the stylish tape I wear to reinforce another medical device I wear on a daily basis. He has also helped place the tapes that typically are found on my arms, because it is incredibly difficult to place the tapes over the device, essentially one-handed. 

  1. He gets just as annoyed at the ups and downs as me 

On one visit to my boyfriend’s college, I changed my inset, and it miserably failed, and my blood sugar skyrocketed. Walks are usually my way of bringing the number back down to be in range. It just so happened that I changed the inset moments before going to bed. We were both annoyed and wanted to go to bed, but his roommates and my boyfriend begrudgingly decided to force me on a walk around the campus.

Or it’s the middle of the night to 4 am, and my pump is buzzing over and over again with low alerts (that I rarely ever wake up for because I’ve gotten so used to them). Mincher has been there to shake me awake to hand me a juice box, a sweet treat, or something to shut off the alarms and get back to a peaceful sleep. 

For as annoyed as we both get at the features of having a chronic illness attached, I have never felt (with Mincher at least) like my diabetes was a burden or something that was mine alone to handle. As someone who gets quite snappy and sassy during moments of peak chronic illness, he is someone I can count on to tell me he doesn’t do that much in reference to diabetes, while simultaneously reminding me to eat so I don’t go low before a hike, asking if I remembered to pack juice and an extra inset, and allows me to be my own advocate for diabetes without trying to “fix” me when I struggle with an aspect of a chronic condition.

Sometimes all it takes is the simple act of being to let someone with a chronic condition know they are well-loved and cared for, regardless of how functional or healthy they may be. My brain truly hears the sounds of a peaceful meadow when he offers to help put on a tape or involve himself in small ways. 

Ella McIntyre

SBU '27

Ella is a member of the St. Bonaventure Her Campus Chapter. She plans on writing pieces that cover music, literature, TV and Movies, and the happenings of her life here at SBU.

Ella is a junior Inclusive Adolescent Education and English double Major. She enjoyed doing New Visions Education during her senior year of high school, which gave her a small experience of observing middle and high school classrooms. She has enjoyed exploring all of the clubs and opportunities SBU has to offer, and continues to do so by joining Her Campus, volunteering at the SPCA, as a member of the Bonaventure Education Association (BEA, and SGA representative for SBU for Equality and SBU College Democrats.

Outside of classes and Her Campus, Ella can be found studying, reading, or outside soaking up the sun (whenever it’s an option to “photosynthesize”). Ella also loves chatting with friends as a part of her not-so-quick study breaks.