The other day I was scrolling on TikTok and saw a video emphasizing the idea that having a cat teaches you about consent. At first, I didn’t think anything of it, but the longer I sat with it, the more I realized how much of it is true. Having a cat teaches you to be gentle, mindful of boundaries, and puts you in scenarios that teach you about consent even when you don’t realize it.
This might sound like a stretch, but anyone that’s owned a cat knows that they are very different than dogs. Unlike most dogs, most cats couldn’t care less about running and greeting you, coming when you call them, or quite literally doing anything you wish they would do. It’s not like cats are unable to be trained, it’s just that it seems like they won’t do anything unless they want to do it.
For a cat to curl up and snuggle with you requires the cat to trust you. Some cats are naturally more friendly and will jump on the lap of whoever sits down or calls them over, but a majority of them take time. It requires you to crouch down on the ground say “pssps pssps,” and make no sudden movements when they see you. They take a while to warm up and come up to you, and when they do, they still are hesitant, usually sniffing your hand first before they let you pet them.
This is where I think cats begin to teach us something about relationships. They serve as the perfect example of building trust and mutual understanding. If you try to run up to a cat, grab them, and immediately start petting them, there is a very high chance they will either run away or hiss at you. Instead, you have to approach them calmly and slowly not forcing them to accept your affection and pets but waiting to see if they feel like they trust you.
Having a cat forces you to be gentle. Again, all cats are different and some love to be played with aggressively, play-fought with, and pet anywhere, where some on the other hand will not have the best reaction.
My family just got a kitten, making her the sixth cat we have, so I can confidently say Ive seen the different personalities cats can have. One of our cats is crazy, she loves to play fight, will run right back to you if you toss her to the side, and loves to be petted all over. Two of our cats, however, hate having their belly rubbed, and are getting old and weak, meaning you have to pet them with a very light hand. Another one has what we call a “5-minute timer” where he will sit will let you pet him for a few minutes, then get up and walk away. We have to savor the affection while it lasts with him.
People who have only owned dogs tend to forget that cats need to be petted a different way. There’s one TikTok audio I always think of that says “She’s too sweet for you, she’s too gentle, she’s just like a flower,” which always comes to my head when I see someone having cuteness aggression towards a cat, ruffling their fur and being a little too aggressive. Most dogs love to be overloaded with affection, whereas cats definitely have their limits.
Cats teach us to respect boundaries; if a cat doesn’t want to be around you anymore, they will leave. There is nothing you can do but accept that they don’t want to snuggle anymore. They also will let you know by either hissing, scratching, or lightly biting you to let you know you did something they didn’t like. This is where it takes an open mind to find what your cat does and doesn’t like. For some cats, they hate having their bellies or feet touched. Having the cat trust you and let you pet them means that they can see you understand not to cross the line.
Overall, I think being a cat owner, or being around cats, teaches you lessons without you even knowing it. As animals that many people don’t care for, or think are mean or boring, they are quite the opposite. It just takes a little extra effort to get them to trust and love you to see that most of them are sweeties. Cats are animals that help remind us to be gentle, calm, and mindful of boundaries.