Since coming to college, I’ve spent time trying to grow in my faith. I was raised in a religious household, but as I got older, I didn’t have anyone constantly reminding me to pray before bed, never miss church, and read the Bible each night.
I went to Sunday school every week up until the seventh grade, which was the year when COVID broke out. Without being able to regularly meet every Sunday, I tried to keep up with the routine of reading a different book of the Bible and thinking about how the stories told apply to real life. Eventually, I aged out of Sunday school and opted against going to youth group, since I didn’t really fit in with the others who went.
I started going to the regular church services with my parents instead, but as my schedule got busier, Sundays became the day I wanted to sleep in. Between school, extracurriculars, and my job, I was waking up early and staying up late, and I would be exhausted by the time the weekend came. Just like before, I stopped going to church every Sunday. It became more of a once-in-a-while thing and turned into just for Christmas and easter.
Religious guilt has been something I’ve felt for years. I always felt like I was behind and that I was never experiencing the same relationship with God as those around me. I wasn’t putting in as much effort as I should and was reminded of that each Sunday.
The church at home has always served me well, but some of the sermons felt as if the world outside of our community should not be addressed. The only time it was talked about was when it came to mission trips and converting other countries to Christianity.
I did not grow up in a catholic church and attended my first mass when I came to college. Although I didn’t know the practices and customs of a typical catholic church service, I felt welcomed immediately. I’ve only gone to mass a handful of times and have only been to a few events related to the ministries here on campus, but each time it has been a pleasant experience for me.
I’m currently taking two theology classes built on Franciscan values, one of which is taught by a friar. These classes have introduced me to a new way of Christianity that makes me feel almost at home.
Franciscan values of compassion and love as the center of Jesus’ relation to the world and to us are refreshing to hear. It addresses poverty, oppression, and injustices, and takes the word of God and applies it to these real-world problems. Instead of making the world feel small, through my experience, it views and addresses the world as complex and big as it is. The theology courses I have taken here emphasize God’s love for one another in a way that wasn’t as common in my experience in the denomination I was raised in.
The complexity of religion and theology feels like something I want to dive deeper into. It reestablished a longing in me to restore my relationship with God and work to live out his words in my everyday life. I am fortunate to have a partner who pushes me to continue to pray and ask questions, and to strengthen my faith a little more each day. Although I may not be fully Franciscan, I am excited to keep diving deeper into my faith to find out what I am and how to express my faith on the level I always wanted.