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Are We Really The Women We Want To Be?

Ayla Batz Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I love pink.

I always have and I always will.

It is so bright and happy. It is rarely found in nature, but when it is found, it stands out. You see it in a variety of flowers that fill gardens. You see it in selective animals like flamingos and dolphins. You see it in sunsets, when everyone looks at the sky in awe.

There is barely a time you look at the color pink and say it is not beautiful.

Except when a girl says that’s their favorite color. At least that’s how I felt when I was growing up.

There was a time in my life that I pretended my favorite color wasn’t pink because liking pink meant you were a girly-girl.

I didn’t want to be a girly-girl. They liked playing dress-up, having all different flavors of lip oil, dancing or cheering, and watching TV shows like Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse or Lego Friends—I loved all of these things.

But girly-girls were especially ditzy and weak.

So throughout elementary, middle, and early years of high school, I was in an identity crisis. As much as I loved having fashion shows in my old dance costumes, I didn’t love being viewed as incapable.

Of course, in elementary school, I didn’t realize this stereotype. But I did recognize that people viewed the strong girls as the ones who preferred playing kickball rather than sitting and chatting with friends.

Therefore, I was not strong enough.

I was and am a girly-girl. I don’t like playing sports, and I am far from athletic. I spend my time doing the activities typically labeled as girly: shopping, arts and crafts, taking pictures with friends, and dancing.

But my hobbies, favorite colors, and outfits I wear have nothing to do with my strength or value.

On the surface, I wanted to be a girl who wore red with athletic shorts. But deep down, I wanted to just wear pink with a flowy skirt.

While my perspective comes from being the “girly-girl,” there is also the other side, the girls who don’t like “girly” activities and clothing. They are viewed as not feminine enough.

No matter what you do or like, you will be judged. As women, we pretend to be someone we are not just for the approval of society. You are just screwed either way.

In the end, choose yourself. Choose what you truly want to do, play, wear, love, and be. Society has no right to mold your identity. That is for you to create.

So that is when we should ask ourselves, are we really the women we want to be?

Ayla Batz is a third-year member and Social Media Co-chair for St. Bonaventure's chapter of Her Campus. Ayla plans to write about college life, fashion, mental health, movies/tv shows, girlhood, friendship and more.

Ayla is a junior Advertising and Public Relations major with a Marketing minor. She has a small clay jewelry business, AMae's Clays, where she creates fun and intricate pieces. She loves to run the social media page for that as well. AMae's Clays is what led her on the path of studying communications. You can also find her on campus with the SBU Dance Team, Yoga Club, or as a St. Bonaventure Social Media Marketing Intern!

Ayla also likes to hang out with friends & family, make crafts, play games, listen to music, read good books, and explore nature. She is always up for a fun spontaneous trip too!