I submitted my application to graduate school yesterday.
To be honest, I don’t know how I feel about it. My entire undergraduate career was spent trying to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be. Now that I know, and I have some inkling of my future, I can’t help but wonder about every other path 19-year-old me thought of.
My first plan was to be a geneticist. This was the plan that made the most sense, the most money, was the most stable. I’d graduate from Bonaventure with a bachelor’s in biology, go on to UB Med, get a fellowship in genetics, get a research grant. I would never have to worry about my next step; my path was planned out for me since I decided this was my plan in middle school.
Then, college happened. I realized medical school wouldn’t work for me, so I pivoted. Still, I’d graduate with a bachelor’s in biology, but this time, end with a master’s and certificate in genetic counseling. This path was still stable, still made sense. My change in plans didn’t hurt too much because my end goal was still similar. I’d still be in somewhat the same place.
Then, biology didn’t work out. I found that out in organic chemistry sophomore year when I got a 29 on an exam and walked out dropping the class. I only had two options at that point: try and retake organic or switch my major.
I switched my major.
At that point in my college career, I started to figure some things out.
I joined business clubs and made the right friends.
I got a public health major with a business administration minor, so I could create my own hospital management degree.
I met the right professors, took the right classes, got myself on the right path that makes sense again.
So, the application I submitted yesterday was an MBA application.
Full 360, I know.
In May, I’ll graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Public Health, with minors in business administration and health sciences. I’ll go on in the fall to complete my MBA, still at St. Bonaventure, and hopefully be a graduate assistant in the business school.
The point is that plans change. They don’t have to stay the same.
My plans for college changed 4 times in the span of 4 years.
If 18-year-old me saw me now, I wish I could say she’d be proud of me. But I don’t think she would be. I honestly think she would be disappointed that our plan didn’t work out because it was the only plan I’ve had for so long.
I’m proud of my plan, though. It’s thought out, I’d like to think it makes my parents proud.
I think a part of me will always wonder what would’ve happened if I stuck to the original plan. But for the first time, I’m excited to find out what happens when I don’t.