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SBU | Wellness > Mental Health

Loneliness Motivates Love

Ayla Batz Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

This weekend, I was pretty much alone. The word alone sounds a bit depressing. You probably think this is about to be a gloomy read. We associate loneliness with a bad feeling. So, let me change the wording…

This weekend, I was pretty much in a state of solitude.

Most of my friend group went home for the weekend, and of course, Friday was Valentine’s Day, and I am single. I knew this weekend would be spent mostly alone. By the end of the weekend, I learned I was okay with this.

One of the nights, I sat in my bed alone and started writing in my notes app. Two different notes were created.

The first one read,

“I have just been alone, like actually alone for a few hours. Nobody is here. No friends. No roommate. But I feel refreshed. I feel like I just reset myself. I have not been truly alone unless I’m totally asleep. Someone is always here or near. And I was scared because they were all leaving this weekend. I love my friends, and I am extremely grateful for all of them. I just realized that I do need that time to myself to thrive. I feel so inspired and motivated right now, and all I did was watch a movie and eat some popcorn alone.”

The second one was a list. It was all the things I loved and was grateful for in the moment. Each started with the phrase “I love.”

  • I love tulips
  • I love listening to music
  • I love doing little crafts
  • I love deep conversations
  • I love quality time
  • I love it when people listen
  • I love to talk
  • I love the color pink
  • I love game evenings with family or game nights with friends
  • I love hearing laughter
  • I love getting into my warm bed after a hot shower
  • I love home-cooked meals (especially by my mom)
  • I love peach boba tea with the black tapioca pearls that no one else likes
  • I love spontaneous trips
  • I love feeling appreciated
  • I love taking random photos of anything I find aesthetic
  • I love scrolling through Pinterest
  • I love new movies or tv shows I can get addicted to
  • I love it when I make people smile
  • I love a nice, juicy steak
  • I love random bursts of energy where I start dancing
  • I love exploring new places and cities
  • I love taking funny pictures with my tongue out or kissy lips
  • I love jewelry
  • I love good food
  • I love coloring
  • I love getting ready in a fun outfit and curling my hair
  • I love life

The thing is, I can be alone because I know how to appreciate the time spent by myself. It allows me to reflect on all the things I love and, therefore, be more loving. It is all about balance. I love being in the presence of others, but I also love doing things for myself.

In that time spent alone, I was able to take a step back and truly appreciate the small things in life.

Ayla Batz is a second-year member and Social Media Co-chair for St. Bonaventure's chapter of Her Campus. Ayla plans to write about college life, fashion, mental health, movies/tv shows, girlhood, and more.

Ayla is a sophomore majoring in Strategic Communication with a minor in Marketing. She has a small clay jewelry business, AMae's Clays, where she creates fun and intricate pieces. She loves to run the social media page for that as well. AMae's Clays is what led her on the path of studying communications. Her dream is to work in the fashion or beauty industry one day. You can also find her on campus with the SBU Dance Team for her third semester!

While not in class or at Her Campus, Ayla likes to hang out with friends and family, make crafts, play games, listen to music and explore nature. You can also find her wrapped up in a good show...currently she is obsessing over One Tree Hill and Big Brother!