If you can relate to anything from the previous article … hopefully you are not still in that
relationship and you´ve found the light at the end of the tunnel. If you are someone who is still
holding on, let me provide that light for you because you deserve better. Transitioning out of a
toxic relationship into a healthy one is…emphasis on PTSD, overthinking, and needing constant
reassurance! The first step is understanding and accepting the part you played in your own
unhappiness and forgiving yourself. Forgiving yourself is necessary to move on. After letting go
of my toxic relationship, I did not grieve for it AT ALL. Instead, I beat myself up for months
because I knew I deserved better the whole time. I would cry because of all the time I lost feeling
unhappy and for forgetting my self-worth. It was almost like I took a blindfold off and finally
began to see how being in that relationship was equivalent to pressing a self-destruct button. This
leads to the next step. Analyze the qualities of that toxic relationship and now decide what are
deal breakers for you going forth. Uncover everything about yourself that made you stay in that
relationship willingly. Leave no stone unturned. I realized I needed peace in my life more than
anything for me to be happy. The lack of communication and ineffective communication led to
the dismissal of my own feelings and bottling my feelings up. Ultimately, it was disrupting my own
peace within. If I cannot be myself and speak my mind, then it’s the highway boo! The right man
will not interrupt my peace, he will add to it. Whatever you decide are your ¨non-negotiables¨,
will be what keeps you from entering another toxic situation. Take as long as you need to work
on your self-reflection and build your self-love back up. The next step is when you have a new
boo:) Alexa play Irreplaceable by Beyonce! How do you move forward with giving and receiving
love? First, know that your new man is not responsible for your past one´s mistakes. You deserve
happiness so you need to avoid sabotaging a good thing. This will be difficult but you MUST
have an open heart if you´re ready. Within the first few weeks of meeting someone new…if this
new person presents you with all the qualities of a good relationship and your non-negotiables
are not at risk, understand that you are now in good hands. If not and they are at risk, then
respectfully decline to build a relationship and move forward. Good qualities of a relationship
include respect, trustworthiness, individuality, positive reciprocity, intentionality, appreciation,
listening, understanding, and elevation for the both of you. I know these may be unfamiliar and
you may be unsure how to receive them. You have to be willing to be confident in yourself
enough to let your guard down to some degree and test the waters. Practice communication,
vulnerability, and transparency. Moving at a slow pace is a great way to build trust. Above
everything, the both of you must always be on the same page. One way to do is this is to practice
check-ins with your partner. Make time for a moment where both of you can share how you feel
about the relationship and each other and do this often. You will know that your partner is the
right one for you if they are understanding, patient, and attentive to your needs and it should be
vice versa. Remember transitioning is indeed difficult, but pay attention to these signs of a good
relationship. I knew I was in good hands when my relationship felt like I can love him freely
without holding back any other part of me. I knew it when I would tell him how I felt and he
accepted & validated my feelings. So know that you are capable of being completely happy and
feeling wanted in your relationship. If you´ve got your keeper, hold on to them!
Somewhere out there is the right person for everyone, you just need to be ready for when they
find you!
For Bri Leshae