A wise man once said, “What kills us isn’t one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we cannot turn down for fear of disappointing others”. Throughout my life I can honestly say one of my biggest weaknesses is the fear I have of letting others down. I can admit that I have a very hard time telling people “No”. The reason why is because I am afraid of their reaction and perception of me. I never want people to have this idea that I am unreliable or useless. I always want to be the Morgan that people can count on every single time. In high school I can remember being nominated for the “Most Dependable” superlative award. Funny right? A small voice in my head never stops telling me to always please others…
The fear of disappointing others has caused me to overextend, overstress, and underprioritize myself. Sadly, it has even led me into traumatic situations. I was doing things that I did not fully want to do but I went along with it to please someone else. Afterwards I would usually cry and ask myself “Why did I just do that”. However, my tears would not fall too long, and I would tell myself that it was “To not disappoint… To not let someone down”.
Now that I think about it, everything would have been different if I said that one small word, “no”.
The word no is so easy to say yet at times it holds so much power. Why does it scare me so much?
The only way to overcome this fear of saying no and this fear of disappointing others is to practice self- love and prioritization. It is much easier said than done but it is the only way to avoid being overused. I have to put myself first, validate my longings and learn from my past experiences, This isn’t selfish nor narcistic but it’s the only way to save myself.