For as long as I can remember, I have found myself being the socially awkward girl in the room. You can only imagine all the different responses someone like me receives because of my level of comfort. It ranges from “quiet people are sneaky”, “I’m not comfortable around quiet people”, and “why are you so shy”. All of these insinuations are mostly inaccurate. Recently, a few people pointed out my quiet manner and begin to question me. They either think I’m sad or in deep thought but it’s hard to find the words to say sometimes. In my defense, I find it difficult to just go into a room full of strangers and become the life of the party. People who are not introverted don’t understand what you go through in your mind so they try and force you out your comfort zone. Constantly begging you to chime in on a conversation or insisting on getting you to talk. Getting a person to open up is cool, but just take into consideration that it takes time.
Since I have been in college I have been battling with trying to step out of my comfort zone and become more relaxed when going into new situations. I got my first job on campus my Freshman year, which helped me meet different people on campus. I also joined an organization on campus. Even with those things I still felt like I was still bottled up socially. Familiar faces that see me around campus have told me how I always look mean or lost when I’m walking around. In my head, I don’t understand how I am supposed to walk around. It is just a natural thing for me.
Then I had to see why exactly I had so much trouble breaking out and only one thing has come to mind… fear. I have a fear of sounding stupid when talking to people. I feel like when I start talking people stop listening so I fear that I might talk too much. I also fear that if I open up to a person one day they will just up and leave. Fear has hindered me so long that I have missed out on many opportunities.
For the introverts that are still trying to break out believe me when I say it is a process. I am still working to become more open and stepping out of my comfort zone. One thing I have learned is that when you are becoming an adult, the shy role does not really work in your favor. Communication will get you further than staying in the background. Having conversations with people isn’t as complex as it seems. you just ease your way into it and let things flow. Sometimes you have to start with small talk to just get yourself out there more. No one expects you to be a social butterfly overnight, so no need to overthink.