As I have grown, holidays have changed so much. I realize now the magic that was Christmas wasn’t really “magic”, but was family and love poured into my innocent, waiting lap. I remember it feeling like the wait for Christmas dragged on and on and now the days seem to slip through my fingers even more so than the silk ribbons tied once, twice, and then again onto the presents under my own tree. Perfection plastered across everything I do, as if that will summon the childhood magic that I am so desperate to have return. It is no secret the past two Christmas’ have been hard; separated from loved ones, avoiding crowded places/events, restricted travel, etc. and I realize more than ever that connection is the magic I’m missing.
I have clear memories of my older brothers and I spreading reindeer food on the roof of our childhood home(much to my mothers dismay now that she finds out 15 years later). I remember spending loud, chaotic, sweltering holidays jammed into my Granny and Papa’s den playing jeopardy with about 50 assorted family members. I remember digging through boxes of ornaments and begging my parents for the story of each one as we placed it on the tree. I remember school holiday parties and being excited to pick out my teachers gift. Every single one of those stories has something in common—Christmas was, and has always been about connection for me. That was the magic I felt around me when I was a kid, and when you grow those connections become much harder to form. It’s no longer freely given, no one is hoping for the opportunity that you’ll slow down from you 5 year old escapades to give them a hug. No one is jumping at the chance to read you a bedtime story or take you to the roof to spread reindeer food. You have to work for those connections.
These past two years we have also tossed in a global pandemic and the simple fact that technology has become so much more prominent, and now we end up here; touch starved, connection craving human beings that have become disappointed with Christmas . So, what does this mean? I think it means that we have to stop blaming holidays and the lost magic of Christmas for our disappointment. We have to start seeking out connection, not in a superficial way, but a wholehearted attempt to discover, grow, and share with other human beings. We need to teach kids(and adults) how to ask for what they need. We need to understand that perfection is not self fulfilling, but rather draining, exhausting, and unsustainable. We need to stop relying on holidays as the only time we see family or friends, and stop making excuses for why that is. The magic of Christmas is not self sustaining, nor self sufficient. It is created and perpetuated by the people that believe in it and work to make it so.
Could you imagine a world where we believed and created that magic all the time? How joyful, kind, and connected we would be. A time I hope will come, that is for sure.