Why Aren’t Girls Nice to Each Other?

In what world does hating other girls make you a better girl? This is a serious question I ask myself every day. And, truthfully, I ask myself because I’m guilty of it. I think we all are, and we all know it.

There’s likely been a moment when you’ve thought, or maybe even said something not so nice about another girl.

And hopefully, there’s been a moment following that mean moment in which you asked yourself, “Why in the h*** did I just think/say that?”

Hopefully you’ve wondered why we (women) are so freaking quick to judge one another. I know I have, and, like a lot of others, I don’t have a concrete answer.

The answer you’ll usually hear has something to do with insecurity or jealousy. That all of us women are so lacking in self-confidence that we all want to be each other and we put each other down to make ourselves feel better blah blahdy blah. I think that’s a load.

I think criticizing our fellow females is more about competition. It’s about an internal need to be the best. It’s about fighting (clawing and hair pulling included, sadly) to be at the very top of the female pyramid. Not just in the eyes of men, but in academia, the work force, our friend groups, etc.

Now ladies, I’m not saying our natural competitive instincts are a bad thing. I’m simply saying that they’re real, and a lot of times we’re going about climbing Success Mountain entirely wrong.

It’s pretty obvious that we can’t all be the best at everything (If you’ve yet to realize that, you need a serious reality check that cannot be found in this article, with all due respect).

And if we can’t be the best at everything, why don’t we help each other be the best at something?

Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please, is a great reference for woman-to-woman power.

Poehler said, “The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone, no matter how great the machines are.”

She preaches hard work, confidence, and acceptance of the simple fact that all women are not the same.

“ ‘Good for her! Not for me.’ That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me,” Poehler said.

So next time you’re about to roast, remember that we are our own unique selves. We are full of potential that can only be reached by understanding and respecting that uniqueness.

And if that doesn’t work, remember what your mom taught you: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.

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