TRIGGER WARNING!
The content of this article is sensitive and may trigger some viewers. The following contains discussions of sexual assault/related topics. Viewer discretion is advised if you would like to proceed.
This is the story of the point of view from a survivor.
To the boy who showed me how not to love
When we were together you at first made it
seem like true love.
How that faded too quick
Like melting a candle wick.
You started out so sweet
And only lived so far down the street.
How can I now say?
I loved seeing you everyday.
Friendship turned into love with passion
When I was down you always stopped by in fashion.
You would bring me chocolates or a flower
And call me your wildflower!
We could spend hours talking on the phone
Back then I never felt alone.
Things quickly began to change
And you started acting strange.
The boy I grew up with turned into someone new
I couldn’t understand how you could turn someone black and blue.
Grew up training together
To end up being scared of you forever.
Moments that have passed by
And it wasn’t until the end that I saw you as a bad guy.
Parts of me began to hurt
But it could be covered with pants and a shirt.
I was too afraid to say
What was going on everyday.
I finally began to realize
There are some things I shouldn’t have to disguise.
I started finally to actually see
Who was doing this to me.
The boy I grew to love
Did things that no one should be proud of.
I tried to stay away
That is where pain became your new “play”
The moment I say no
Is when you let loose all control and let go.
You never walked away
This is where I begin to “fade”.
Even though my sight began to fade
I could feel you invade.
I didn’t feel you stop
Even as my hand dropped.
Waking up in an unfamiliar place
Only to see her scared face.
She stayed by my side
And told me no more I would have to hide.
I didn’t know what to do
Because all I saw was black and blue.
I was afraid what to say
Because I told him “I love you” that day.
When I saw his face again
The color in my face began to drain.
I wanted him gone
But this dragged on
He refused to leave
His fake emotions people began to believe
Give her some medicine to put her at ease
This is the moment he could seize
Only broken when the girl walked in
And quickly followed with screamin’
To the boy who I once loved
You showed me how to feel empty of…
Part of me I will never get back
But I am finally on track
To be the girl who deserves to be loved
And thanks the boy who showed her how not to be loved.
SEXUAL ASSAULT: If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit hotline.rainn.org.