Disney movies with the ideas of princes and princesses started coming out long before our current generation of college students were even born. I know, I grew up watching Ariel, Aurora, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Belle, Snow White, etc. They all had one thing in common: they all had a prince, even if the princess was an independent woman they always needed a prince. Disney has been slowly changing the idea of that with Elsa, Merida, Moana, etc. Not every male character is a prince by blood but how they get to be in that role doesn’t take away from the label and they still affect what girls growing up thought they wanted. I think that my ideas of what I wanted in a boyfriend when growing up were definitely influenced by that and I have learned that the reality of finding “Prince Charming” isn’t going to work!
I want to make it clear that Disney princes are not bad, they have good characteristics and personalities for the most part but how they are paired with the princess and their role in her story has set a tone for what young girls should look for. On top of that some women still believe in the idea of “Prince Charming” and do not want that to be the standard where men need to go above and beyond their expectations. How people view their idealistic relationship has been shaped by more than just Disney princesses but with superheroes, careers, gender roles, etc. I think it is time for people to realize that “Prince Charming” is not a standard that actually exists.
The ideas that I am focusing on here are actions that the male did. Two male characters had big red flags when it came to lying about their identity or intent and in the end the girl forgave him like nothing ever happened which is expected today but red flags are red for a reason. Red means stop not go! Yet Aladdin and Flynn got away with it. Two other princesses also share a similar story in which they needed a kiss to be saved/woken up. A view in which we need a man to save us from the troubles of the world is not accurate but can we look at the fact that the actions they did to these princesses did not have consent and seem as completely okay. In the Grimm brother story Aurora is sexual assaulted while asleep and we don’t share that version but the Disney one where she was quote on quote saved. Thanks Prince Florian and Prince Philip for that one. While on the topic of Prince Philip he was taken captive by maleficent and put in a dungeon and had to escape and kill her but we either don’t see or it is completely ignored that there should be some trauma but that didn’t fit the masculine role he was given. Men are allowed to have emotions yet “prince charming” didn’t need any. In the story Princess and the Frog Prince Naveen is seen as very charming and used to living a very lavish lifestyle which makes women want a man who is well off and can give them everything instead of just wanting the basics or absolute needs. If we look at the story of Mulan we see 4 men that are strong in different ways. Li Shang is the only one that is seen as truly strong because he is fit, powerful, brave and in control yet the trio is also brave and strong. Mulan specifically ends up with the man that is seen as “truly” strong though and it sets a tone on what our man should not only act like or have personality traits of but what also he needs to look like. Looks are further given a bigger view in Hercules he started out thinner and with overwhelming strength but didn’t fit in but was not until he had muscle did women start to notice him. He then was seen as a protector and hero which could get all the girls attention. He set the standard again for what we should want in our “Prince Charming”. Based on the image Disney gave us for “Prince Charming” he needs to be fit, strong, handsome, brave, powerful, in control, have money, some emotion, and to protect us. Looking at this list gives a very unrealistic view of what a woman should want and ultimately isn’t fair to the men out there who are the TRUE “Prince Charming”.
I have learned from past experiences the guys who look like and act like “Prince Charming” at a first glance are not the ones who are and with how I grew up thinking what the perfect man for me to be with was the reason I found wrong ones along the way. Not all were terrible but it only takes one to be the one that destroys the whole idea of “Prince Charming” for you. When I think of the “Prince Charming” that I want for me it is someone who can be true to himself and be who he really is around me. Someone who is an equal no one has power over the other. We are strong both independently and together. He can have a protective instinct but he doesn’t need to protect me cause I will fight my own battles. I don’t want or expect him to fully provide for himself and me because that is something to be shared equally between us. Maybe my view of “Prince Charming” still is too much but I don’t think it is where it was if you would have asked me before or when I had my first boyfriend. If I had to give a label to the kind of man I truly want that could actually be something to seek out it wouldn’t be a Prince but the person who is your best friend. The person who won’t save your world but help you put it back together when it starts to fall apart.