An Open Letter To My Mom

Dear Mom,

You once told me that the best sound you’ve ever heard was my screeching cry just seconds after I was born. According to you, I was a beautiful little girl with a head full of hair, ten perfect fingers, and ten perfect toes. 

I would guess it was around the 3-month mark that that cry wasn’t as beautiful as it once was. Never the less, you quickly learned how to hold me, shush me, and rock me in just the perfect way that made all the pain go away. 

When I was seven, there was an evil resident in my brain named Nightmares and I clung to your arm like glue with tears rolling down my cheeks as I crammed my way into your bed. You’d hold me close in just the right way so I always knew I was safe. You always made the bad guys go away. 

Thirteen is a hard age for any kid. I remember you asking one day why my best friend and I hadn’t hung out in weeks. I felt the tears sting my eyes, but tried to push them away as I thought about our ridiculous fight. We sat on the edge of your bed as you slung your arm around me and held me close to your heart in just the best way so I knew you’d always be there for me. You always made the hard days easier. 

It was a Tuesday night and I was sitting by myself next to the water fountain at a giant campus I suddenly called home. I had spewed out more water from my eyes than the actual fountain by the time I called you. You answered and my voice broke. I couldn’t even say hello. You calmed me down and made me laugh in just the right way that everything faded for a few minutes. It was the first time I had laughed in days. You always knew how to make me feel like you were close. 

I had watched enough romantic comedies to know breakups were tough, but no one prepared me to break another person's heart. I came home with puffy eyes and a snotty nose, but you pulled me in without a single concern for your favorite shirt. You held me, shushed me, rocked me, and said the three words you told me every time I felt like the worst person on the planet. You always knew how to make me feel loved again. 

To all the days that are to come where I’ll feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and to all the days that tears will rush down my face for no apparent reason, I am so lucky to have someone who loves me in just the right way. 

All my love,

The girl who will always need you