By: Veronica
While scrolling on TikTok, I came across this song called “Kind of Love” by Natalie Jane. I had heard parts of it on TikTok so I decided to listen to the full song on Apple Music and absolutely fell in love with the song because it was extremely relatable. Parts of the song had more meaning to me than others, and it hit differently.
“I can’t believe you left me lonely
I hope you never feel this pain
Is this the ending of our story
I guess you won your own damn game”
I related to this part because it reminded me of a past relationship. I am not going to use names to call people out since it wouldn’t be fair. This guy was not the one to break up with me as I ended it, but he had me isolate myself from other people and it had left me all alone and feeling lonely. I do not wish what I went through on anyone because it was a traumatic experience. When there was the final straw, it was the ending of our story. You won for so long you gained control over me. You treated me like a toy for your amusement.
“I just wanna feel that kind of love
Running through my veins and in my blood
Got me waiting like a loaded gun
Seems like everybody’s found the one
And I just wanna feel that kind of Love”
This part is relatable because most people want to feel love. When you feel love it makes a difference because you are letting someone in. “Waiting like a loaded gun” to me feels like waiting to get shot with disappointment that they may not be the one and hurt you. During the holidays, if you don’t have someone, it seems like everyone is in a happy relationship. I could have stayed in a relationship so that I wouldn’t be alone for the holiday, but I needed to be honest to myself and do what was best for me. I have gone back to a relationship with someone who has severely hurt me because I just wanted to “feel that kind of love” but it never came and I got stuck in the same circle that I had climbed my way out of.
“I’m running low on expectations
The nights get colder on my own
Is there someone I should be holding
Or am I meant to be alone”
After walking away from a relationship that hurt me so much, my expectations of what a relationship was were so low. I thought that getting hurt a little was okay and normal to have happened. As he, the boyfriend at the time, got mad I would spend more time on my own, which made me be cold to my friends and isolate away. It took me a while to realize what I deserve, but sometimes I wonder if I am meant to be alone because part of me is never sure if it will end. I know that I will one day find who I am meant to be with.
“Love should be easy
You got me completely fucked up
So numb
Lost all its meaning when you left me bleeding for months”
Loving someone should be easy with some bumps along the way. This is relatable after being hurt so much by so many people you just go numb to the feeling of pain and disappointment. After some of my past relationships, I have felt completely fucked up. After my worst relationship, I felt that everything had lost all its meaning and I was stuck feeling that way for a few months.
This song has definitely left me feeling that the wounds I had were uncovered and reminded me of how far I have come to be where I am now. I never would have thought that during my darkest times I wasn’t going to come out the other side, but here I am now, and I am definitely stronger for it. The song is obviously longer than what I have put here, but these lyrics really spoke to me.