When in college, many of us go through relationships with people that we meet during college or people that we’ve been with since high school. From this we learn what we want in our relationship and how to love someone else as much as ourselves. With this, we also learn a lot about ourselves through our partner or in self-discovery. Depending on the length of the relationship, you may be influenced by your partner as the years go on. Sometimes taking a break from one another can really help with balancing who we want ourselves to be and who our partner wants us to be.
Giving time to let ourselves be alone to discover who we are individually and what we like alone is very important to finding inner peace. Only knowing who we are with someone else can be very damaging to our self-image and can ruin our mental health. For many of us, being with someone everyday sounds ideal and is what our goal in a long-term relationship is, but at a young age, sometimes being together too much is not healthy. That’s why many of us when going to college chose to split after high school or do the long distance. This is a personal choice, but one that takes a lot of effort to keep up with
As someone who has done long distance for three years, I can officially say that it’s the worst. Dating someone and not being able to see them for weeks or months at a time is difficult, and it truly takes a strong relationship to get through it. Finding someone who can take the hardship and long days of not talking due to different schedules is hard to come by, but the right person will stay till the end. Relationships in college are difficult in general due to new places, new people, and new values. People change over time and being in a long-term relationship can be hard on long distance. But let’s not say it’s impossible to grow in a relationship will apart from one another. There are a few things that can help make a long-distance relationship successful with the right person.
The first one I would like to mention would be communication. It’s one of the most important things that you can do in your relationship to be successful. Relationships are not just one person, it’s a two-person job, and without clear communication, there can be tension, fights, or not clearly understanding where the other person is at during the day. With long distance, communication is the only thing helping you be in a successful relationship, as that’s they only thing you are truly able to do. I don’t mean facetiming all day long to the point where you have nothing to say, but I mean good morning and good night texts, updates throughout the day, or even calls every day around the same time. Having some communication throughout the day to be able to tell them about your day or your plans to include them makes all the difference and could be what is saving your LDR.
Another would be making sure you are giving each other space. This may be contradictory to my last point, but it’s worth it. In college, we are trying to figure out who we are. This is a time for growth in ourselves and LD gives us the perfect time to do that without someone else’s influence. This is a time to figure out what you love, what you want to do, and who you want to be. Maybe that’s while in your relationship and maybe it’s not, but LD is easy to grow individually due to the distance. These years shape who you are as an adult and also create who you want to be with after as friends or more, so I think that this is the best time to focus on you, while also respecting your partner to let them do the same.
I think that this is a given for any long-distance relationship, but personally for me I feel as though this goes hand in hand with communication. Being open and honest with your partner, especially in college is beneficial to growing in your relationship and knowing that you want to be with them. Many tend to go away from this, and that just means that long distance may not be for you. But when you know it’s the person, we know that the hardship is worth it. Being with someone who you know is willing to do anything to be with you means the world, and the least you can give them is be loyal. If not, then maybe you should reconsider.
There are a ton of other aspects to helping your LDR thrive in todays society, but personally I felt those were the best ones that help me be able to do well in mine. While it’s not fun and not ideal for everyone, it’s worth it with the right person. Finding your person is amazing and I think that everyone should be seeking that for themselves. If not, then I would hope one day they are able to find that someone. College is hard and relationships are definitely not for everyone during this time, for those that are in these relationships, I hope this was a least a little beneficial.