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That’s What (S)he Said: Physical Appearance

So they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, yet we all live on Earth.  So just how different are men and women when it comes to relationships, work, music and everything else? Well, Her Campus San Francisco is going to attempt to answer this puzzling phenomenon in a series of articles that we're calling "That's What (S)he Said". Each piece will consist of a question to which a female answer will be given and a male answer will be given. Living in a society revolving around looks, the role of appearance in finding and keeping that special someone will be the topic of this weeks Q&A!

***Our one big rule is absolutely zero collaboration. Daniel has no idea how Jasmijn is going to answer and Jasmijn has no idea how Daniel is going to answer. Both are students at SFSU***

So really now, how important of a role does physical appearance play in a relationship? Would a change in appearance create a change in heart?

What she said: 

Some of the most stereotypically attractive people I have known and/or dated have had some of the worst personalities. With that being said, physical appearance plays a large role in initial attraction, but beyond that it is all about personality and intelligence. Yes, you may be really nice to look at but if I can’t maintain an interesting, charismatic conversation with you, that’s a deal breaker. Relationships are all about the emotional connection that you feel with another person: that is where the real intimacy lies. The beauty of the soul should outshine the beauty in a face or a body. If everything is about physical appearance, what happens then when you get old, and your partner is wrinkly and saggy? I’m betting most elderly couples would laugh at that even being an issue in their relationship. Or what if some sort of freak accident happens and your significant other sustains appearance altering injuries? Do you just walk away from a relationship like that? No, I would certainly hope not. 

What he said:

Let’s start off with differentiating between a real relationship and a fling. There are meaningful relationships out there, in which case both people genuinely care for each other and stick it out through thick and thin. On the other hand, there are flings. These may be characterized by a lack of commitment, a title, and feelings. In regards to a relationship, there is a lot more than physical attraction. Of course you want to have some desire for your counterpart, but it is not the sole purpose for being with the person. The emotions that go along with such are much more prevalent than if both parties were merely “having fun.” Now when talking about a fling, the main object of the connection is physical, placing a great deal more importance on appearance. If physical attraction comes into question, I would attribute that to wavering emotions. When I look at someone I truly care for, I care for everything about them. If their health is at risk then that is a slightly different situation and I might speak up, but other than that, real relationships aren’t balanced on physical attraction alone. 

Got an opinion of your own? Let us know in the comments below and look for the next That's What (S)he Said coming soon!


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Daniel Meisel

San Francisco

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