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So they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, yet we all live on Earth.  So just how different are men and women when it comes to relationships, work, music and everything else? Well, Her Campus San Francisco is going to attempt to answer this puzzling phenomenon in a series of articles that we’re calling “That’s What (S)he Said”. Each piece will consist of a question to which a female answer will be given and a male answer will be given.

***Our one big rule is absolutely zero collaboration. National’s Real Life College Guy Andy has no idea how SFSU college student Jasmijn is going to answer and Jasmijn has no idea how Andy is going to answer. Both are students at SFSU ***

Today we will be discussing the act of cheating and the potential of forgiveness?

So picture this: your boyfriend or girlfriend of six months comes to you pleading for forgivness. What for you may ask? “I cheated but it only happened once!” 

What (s)he said:

Seeing as I have never been cheated on (that I know of) this is purely my hypothetical thoughts, if it had happened to me perhaps I would have an entirely different take. . .My first reaction to this is that if my man can’t keep it in his pants (or mine!) for six measley months then he is getting kicked to the curb most definitely. With that out of the way there are some points that might save him; he did man up and tell me himself and if I didn’t have to find it out on my own then I suppose some slack may be cut. He would definitely have to go through some serious interrogations about who and the events surrounding this and it better not have anything to do with my best friend, or his for that matter. Also heavy alcohol use when the deed was done MAY help him out, only because I will be the first to admit I have done some pretty stupid things that may or may not be fully remembered thanks to downing the bottle. But realistically when it comes down to it, my emotions would guide me in my ultimate decision: how much did it hurt me, will I be able to trust this person again, and do I care enough to risk going through it again?

What he said:

While I can understand the thought process behind people giving second chances to cheaters, I personally, would never give a second chance. If a girl cheats on me, that’s it I’m done. 
Now why wouldn’t I give a second chance? The answer is simple: her act of cheating indicates that I’m not good enough for her and that she isn’t worried about losing me.
Let me put it this way, if guys or girls want to date around and hook-up with different people than don’t become official boyfriend-girlfriend with anyone. If you decide to be in a exclusive relationship, you’re giving up the intrigue of hooking up with other people. 
And I will never buy the excuse that the girl/guy was horny and their significant other was not around/out of town. I’m sorry but both guys and girls can get off by masturbating. 
No matter how long of a trip your significant other may be on, it’s no excuse. I was a sex crazed teenager from about 13 years old on-ward but didn’t have sex till I was almost 18. For those 4-5 years I was perfectly fine without having sex. Did I want to have sex? Sure, but I survived without it. 
I’m not saying it wouldn’t be easy having a significant other away from you, but love and romance is about more than just sex. If a hypothetical girlfriend (I’m single as I write this) of mine were to cheat on me, that would be the end of the relationship. There is no excuse she can give me for why she had sex with someone else. Especially in this day and age where you can have “Skype sex” with your significant other, there is no excuse.

 

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Andrew Bensch

San Francisco

Andrew is a rising senior at San Francisco State University majoring in broadcast journalism. While he hopes to some day work in the sports media industry, becoming a professional columnist for a women's magazine is also on his radar. While in college Andrew has contributed sports columns to such sites like Foxsports.com, Insidehockey.com, and Bleacherreport.com. But don't be fooled, he isn't just your typical jock, after all he is willing to admit he actually loves chick flicks like "27 Dresses" "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". He also enjoys shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill", "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Teen Wolf" and wonders aloud why more college men don't open up about their love for these types of programs.
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