Going back home after moving away for college is a different experience for everyone. The distance you move from home, the frequency in which you can go back, and the differences between your hometown and college town all factor in. In my experience, I moved only a short plane flight away from home. I also moved into an apartment in the city, rather than into on-campus housing. I left home in August before my freshman year and went back for the first time a few months later.
I was very excited to go back home. I missed mainly my family and friends, but also my hometown itself (at least that’s what I thought). Once I got back, my mom picked me up from the airport and we started driving back to our apartment. I was elated to see my mom and couldn’t wait to get to the familiar apartment and see my pets, but one thing was different than I expected. I wasn’t excited to be back in my hometown.
I immediately missed San Francisco. I spent ten years in my hometown before moving away for college and grew used to it, so I forgot that it was much more of a suburb than a city. Being back reminded me of that. Everything felt so spread out and there wasn’t much to go out and do. I love being in cities, so my hometown felt so small compared to San Francisco. This feeling was very unexpected. I had been looking forward to being back, so to then have an opposite response to being there surprised me.
However, it was a positive thing as well. Moving into an apartment right when I started college was a big step. The first few weeks in San Francisco certainly weren’t easy, but after an initial adjustment period, I started classes and developed a consistent schedule. From there, I felt more comfortable and was able to spend more time exploring the city. San Francisco is full of so many incredible places and it was easy for me to find many favorite spots. I found myself frequently thinking about how lucky I was to have my apartment and to get to walk around San Francisco every day. Because of this, going back to my hometown for future visits became almost entirely about the people, rather than the place. I devoted my time to seeing my friends and spending time with my family, doing things we used to enjoy doing together before I moved.
Looking back on that now, two years later, my relationship with my hometown has changed even more. Since then, my mom moved out of the apartment I grew up in and to San Francisco. Because of this, I have less of a need to visit my hometown. Neither of my parents live there, and I get to see my mom all the time now. This has caused me to have more mixed emotions about it going forward. Now that I can’t easily visit, I miss my hometown more. The familiarity of it is probably what draws me to it the most. Despite this, I know that being in San Francisco is the best for me and that, at the end of the day, I prefer it. But the impact of ten years of being in one place doesn’t fade easily, so that longing I feel to go back will probably last for a long time. There’s no concrete lesson learned or resolution to this story, other than the fact that every experience moving away from home is different and nuanced. I’m just lucky enough that I was able to find a new home in San Francisco.