“I just need a guy in my life, I want to be happy!”
We’ve all heard this phrase before and to be honest, I think I’ve had enough!
Over and over again I hear girls complaining about their relationships, questioning why a guy doesn’t have the same feelings she does for him, and why they’re single.
I’ve seen a number of girls “boy-hop” from one boyfriend to the next without catching a breath. -We get it, you love boys, and you can’t get enough of them, but there’s nothing wrong with taking a breather! It would do us all good to be single for a while.
I understand, we have needs and want our man of steel protecting us from the villains of San Francisco, or to cuddle on the couch with us after a long day of kicking a*s at school, or work, but there’s nothing wrong with being single. And when I mean single, I mean no one-night-stands either. Friends-with-benefits is also just another version of a relationship that should really just be avoided. I’m not trying to say that you should break-up this instant, but if the relationship isn’t working out, get out of it and take a nice, man-free break.
No Boyfriend, No Problem!
I’m not saying that we should never, ever be in a relationship and hate men, but we should just be patient with ourselves, float on the river of life and see where it takes us.
Because it will happen some day! Our prince charming will drive up in his Toyota Corrolla, or step out of the MUNI train (let’s be realistic, I doubt he’ll ride a horse) and sweep up us off our feet. –Often when we least expect it.
But who says you can’t have fun without a man in your life?
Plan a Girls night Out & Don’t act like the 3rd Wheel
Head to Stonestown Galleria next to SFSU, or go downtown to Westfield Mall on Powell Street, and purchase the craziest, sexiest outfit – for yourself- and plan a girls night out in the city of unexpected events.
If you’re out with friends and you’re the only single one, mingle around with others, get to know your friend’s boyfriend, or girlfriend, have a drink, and enjoy the night! Your true friends won’t make you feel like the third wheel; you make yourself feel that way if you allow it. Jumping on some guy you don’t have true feelings for because you want to “join the bandwagon” is not going to solve your problem.
Get off Facebook!
Facebook, a social media network we can never get away from, has a huge effect on us young women. Many girls who have a companion, post photos of themselves with their boyfriend, or girlfriend, brag about it on status updates, and profusely describe their happiness with each other. We may not admit it, but some of us single ladies get a jealous from time to time, and that’s normal! That’s how our mind works. Sometimes we wish we had their life…or their boyfriend, but that’s not healthy either.
We have to remember that we are our own person. Wishing to be in someone else’s heels because they may have your ideal love life doesn’t make it easier for you to move on and enjoy your present freedom.
Looking through their profile will lower your self-esteem, make you feel depressed, and unwanted, when this should be the time you’re embracing your freedom.
Remember, live your life through action, thought and true personality, not through the Internet.
Finding yourself
As college women, this is our time to figure out what we want to do and who we really are. Some of us have our lives planned out while others don’t. Living the single life allows us to find out who we are and where we want to go in life. This is our time to experience new things and embark on new adventures whether it’s alone, or with a group of friends.
It’s important to have a lot of life experiences before taking the next big step, committing to someone, because we may not have get that chance after marriage.
I’m not saying that men are evil and won’t allow us to live our life, but it’s important to let be independent for a while so that we can grow.
As the famous fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg says:
“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”