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Moving On, Moving Forward

Many of us have been involved in some type of romantic or intimate relationship with an individual that we cared about or even loved. For the moment, many of us believe these individuals are supposed to remain in our lives long term but unfortunately that isn’t always the case.

When the relationship you have starts to lack respect or never had any to begin with, its time to let it go. When you truly love someone, it’s very hard to detach yourself from an individual but holding on to a toxic relationship will hurt you more than letting go of it.

So, whether you’re involved in a relationship, a situationship, you have a friend with benefits and you feel they’re no longer being a friend, or your boyfriend has a girlfriend, I’m going to give you some tips on how to let that toxic relationship go sis.


Know your worth. If you don’t know your worth, you need to learn it fast. When you don’t know your worth, you’re more likely to put up with being treated poorly and disrespected. As soon as you realize your worth, you won’t want to put up with anything less than you deserve; this makes it much easier to end a toxic relationship.


Take responsibility for all the parts you played in your situation. If you’re in a situation where you are constantly being disrespected, you are part of the problem. You should have had boundaries and standards set in place from the beginning.

As soon as someone crossed a boundary you had set, you should have let it be known that you won’t tolerate anything less than the standards you set. In addition to setting standards, I know there are some cases where ladies have put themselves in a situation where they can’t set standards because they don’t have any for themselves.

Don’t worry ladies, I’m not judging you, but let’s be real, if you’re dealing with an individual romantically or sexually and you know they’re dealing with someone else you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. How do you expect someone to respect you when they don’t even respect their significant other? If you haven’t already, take this moment to check yourself sis. 


Stop any sexual activity with this individual. When you’re in a toxic situation, sex just further complicates things. You shouldn’t be giving up your goodies to someone who doesn’t deserve them.


Unfollow this individual on all social media. Yes, I know it sounds petty but the concept behind doing this is pretty simple: out of sight, out of mind.


Accept the situation for what it is. Its important that you let go of what once was or what could’ve been. You need to allow yourself to see things for what they are. Once you see things for what they are, you’ll realize that’s its in your best interest to let it go. Remember if someone truly wanted to do right by you, they would.


Cry, but not for too long. Its okay to be disappointed, hurt, heartbroken, and angry. No matter what situation you’re in, you have every right to feel the way you do. Ending relationships isn’t easy,even if they’re toxic because at some point this individual was an important part of your life and you’ve come to terms with the fact they you didn’t mean as much to them as they did to you. However, try not to dwell on the situation, dwelling on the situation won’t change anything.


Surround yourself with love and positivity. You should surround yourself with people that love you and make you feel good about yourself. When you’re surrounded by people who love you, it reminds you that you are loved and makes you grateful for the people that you do have in your life and not disappointed about the ones who aren’t.


Take this time to work on yourself. Since you’re no longer consumed in a toxic relationship, you’ll have plenty of time to work on yourself.  Spend your free time studying, getting into new hobbies, join a gym or anything that will have a positive impact on your life.  


Well, I hope at least one of these tips help you if you’re having a hard time letting go of a toxic relationship. Just remember to take things one day at a time, this too shall pass.


Nabria Milbourne

Salisbury '20

Nabria is a transfer student from Wor-Wic Community College. She is currently a junior at Salisbury University majoring in Communication Arts in the Public Relations and Strategic Communications track, while also minoring in Marketing Management!
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