At dinner this week, I was talking with two friends and the inevitable. “What do you want to do with your Communication Studies and English Wriitng degrees?” conversation came up. And of course the, “Uhh…I’m not sure. I mean I could get a job with a magazine or something like that…that woul be ideal” was what I responded with. To which said friend answered back,” OMG you could totally be the next Andi Anderson “How To Girl”.”
And the idea was born.
So I got back into my room and thought, “what could I possibly teach people how to do? How to make your dorm feel more like home and less like a Target “back to school” ad? How to go as long as possible without washing your hair? (Thanks dry shampoo and baby powder!) How to be a Maxxinista?” All valid. And all possible future topics to discuss in a Her Campus article. Then I really started getting annoyed that I couldn’t think of what to write. I self-identify as a writer. So, a pet peeve o mine just happens to be when I, the writer, cannot think of anything to write. This then caused me to brainstorm the (embarrassingly high number of) pet peeves I have. There’s no way I can be alone…right?
So in the true spirit of Valentine’s Day, I present to you: a go-to list of how to have people not hate you.
1) Walk faster than 2mph on the way to class. Some of us are trekking from Regina to Spes and don’t have the nerve to just deliberately walk around you. So please, PLEASE save us the social anxiety and just walk at a human pace.
2) Walk on the right side of sidewalk/hallway/room/etc. We are all smart, educated young women. There is no need for us to have the I go this way, you go that way. Oops we ran into each other let’s try again. Nope still colliding. Okay I’ll stop you just go run ins every. Single. Day.
3) Don’t talk about how much you drank last night. You’re in college. You’re not impressing anyone. Even if you got soooo drunk at Feve that you were still drunk in class on Friday. Still not impressed.
4) Chew with your mouth closed. As delicious as the NFDH food is, it’s even less appetizing looking at the half-chewed food in your mouth.
5) Don’t EVER under ANY circumstances udder the words, “Oh, you’re in a bad mood today” to anybody. Like obviously someone can tell when they’re in a bad mood, your unnecessary statement of the obvious is unneeded and unappreciated.
6) Know your audience. Some opinions are fine to share with everyone, others are not. Learn the difference. Soon.
7) Avoid the words “turnt”, “bae”, and “swag” in any non-sarcastic connotation.
8) Don’t talk about how fat you are. Because either you’re stick thin and annoying or you just put people in a really uncomfortable position.
9) Don’t take the last bowl of Lucky Charms in the DH. All I know is they were mysteriously missing for two months last year, and I still resent the person who got the last bowl.
10) This is a special shout out to every cab driver in the greater South Bend area: stop denying me a ride back to SMC, or else I will yell at you, I might cry, and call Marky Mark anyway.
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