First of all, you should know that I never wanted to leave without you. I’ve always planned to have most of my biggest adventures with you, so you not coming with me felt wrong. I know how hard it was for you to be happy for me when I told you I was going, because I was feeling the same way. Sure, I was more than excited to be going on this trip, but what was I going to do when the other half of me was on the other side of the world? But, you were beaming after I shared my news. You wanted to know every detail and be together as much as possible before we were separated, and made it easier for me to put on a smile.
You have no idea how much the time we spent before I left meant to me. Thank you for helping me pack, letting me send you pictures and telling me which outfits were “definitely”s and which ones were “definitely not”s. I didn’t realize picking out only fifty pounds of things to make a completely new life would be so hard, but I was lucky to have you only a text away to guide me. Thank you for taking me out to my last American meal, even though I could definitely find chicken nuggets across the ocean.
As leaving day drew closer and closer, I became more and more afraid. I was ready to make new friends and a new life, but I wanted you to be there with me. What if people didn’t like me? What if classes were difficult? What if I got lost? What if I couldn’t understand the locals? Sitting in that airport, ready to board that plane to a new life, I had never felt so alone. But, luckily I had you to build my courage. You texted me right until I had to turn my phone off. Though it made me miss you more, you telling me to just be me, that you liked me and others would too, and that you were only a text away, gave me the confidence to strike up a conversation with the girls next to me.
My life abroad was exciting, but there were times I was so lonely. I wasn’t seeing something new every day, because you actually do study when you study abroad. The culture was more different than I expected, and sometimes I felt left out everywhere I went. The time difference would sometimes make it hard to talk to you, because I’d be eating in my room while you were fast asleep. I’d miss home so much, wishing that you could just be with me because you can always make a dull moment turn around. I’d shop in stores and see something that reminded me of you, or something would happen that I knew you’d laugh at.
But, when you woke up and got my texts about being mad at a professor, or answered when I called you crying because I was homesick, you always listened to me. You’d give me advice and I might as well have been sitting right next to you, with your hand on my back. You kept me in the loop about what was going on at home, and made me feel like I was in two places at once. You’d call me and it would be the best part of my day, no matter where I was. When we’d hang up, my flat mates would tell me how loud I was laughing, and I’d just smile and give a small apology because you had just made my life so much brighter, and I was in no way sorry about that.
Don’t get me wrong: I had fun. I ran on Scotland’s finest golf course with some amazing girls I met. I tried all the gelato Rome could sell me. I learned to mind every gap London had with my new flat mates. I stood on a narrow edge on the Cliffs of Moher. I jumped off of a waterfall in Morocco. I learned new customs, met amazing people, saw spectacular sights…but you know all this. You know because (sometimes even before I told my mom) I spilled all the details to you. I’d sit by my phone, impatiently waiting for it to charge, but as soon as that little white apple popped onto my black screen, I’d grab my phone and shake it, thinking for some weird reason that that would help me open the FaceTime app faster.
Now that I’m home, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done and continue to do for me. I was worried that we would grow apart, things would be different between us. I was right. Things aren’t the same. How could I be the same after the things I had gone through? I’ve made new friends, gained new experiences, and become a part of another culture. Yet, we’re actually closer than ever. You know what I’m saying when I say I’m going to grab some chips and come back with fries, or when I say I need to grab my wellies because it’s raining. I look back at my pictures and realize I wouldn’t have been so stylish (or warm) if you hadn’t told me to pack that sweater. Thank you for putting up with all my stories again and again. You could probably recite some of my stories yourself you’ve heard them so many times. How fantastic you are, making an ocean seem like a puddle that I could easily skip over. That time apart made me appreciate how often you’re there for me, and how important your friendship is to me. Every little talk lifted me up, made it easier to enjoy where I was.
You didn’t study abroad. But, you know what? In a weird way, you did. You checked out my new dorm with me by video chat. You saw Tower Bridge with me in a text message. I shared my drinks with you in Irish pubs by Snapchat. You knew all about how the girls I lived with were doing, what I learned in class, when my next trip was. I sent you postcards in every place I went, sending you a little piece of me from the other side of the world. I love who studying abroad made me, and I’m just glad you love this me, too. I know that I’ve found a friend that will be there through everything, no matter what time, or where I am.
I hope that you get to see the world. While I want to be there when you do, I know there will be times you go on your own adventures, and I will be the one to stay behind. No matter where you go though, just know that I will be with you, just as you were there with me. I will celebrate every new food you try, every person you meet and view you see. I’ll eat up every word of your stories, and save every letter you send me. I’ll be your phone call away from comfort and your text away from laughter. I will continue to love you no matter where you are or who you become. After all, what are best friends for?