Feminism is a widely controversial and popular topic in today’s society. With the growing widespread media campaigns it can be easy for people to be caught up in their misconceptions of what feminism means and what feminists are like. Lets be clear… feminism is not about man hating groups and women taking over the world. Feminism advocates for equality of the sexes politically, socially, and economically. I am a feminist and no I am not burning my bra, refraining from male friendships, or calling anyone who opens my door a sexist. From the way I was raised, I have my own beliefs on how I should be treated by men and by society in general. You may have different viewpoints, and that’s justified because nobody should judge how you see the world. However, it is important to understand the facts before you start attacking other people’s standpoints. Take a look at a few of my personal beliefs as I live with the label of a feminist and see how misconceptions and stereotypes can really fog your judgments.
1. I am a feminist and I do believe whoever asks another to go on a date, should pay for the night.
I am a woman in college, I have dated and contrary to popular feminist stereotype, yes I expect the man to pay for the first date. Even though I always offer to help on the tab, a true gentleman will pay for the date if he was the one to formally ask you out first. If you think this view is just the opposite of feminism, think of it this way; if he was the one to ask you out first then you are taking time out of your night to go out with him. This is not an insult to your gender, this is his one and only chance to try to make a good impression on you! It about doing something nice for the one you care about, not a showdown of the genders.
2. I am a feminist and I do believe opening a door is a sign of courtesy and respect.
Again, this is not a sign of him asserting his dominance over you. He is fully aware that we as women can open our own doors. It is a sign of respect and overall a good deed. I hold doors for people behind me going to class, when I see a mother and her children, honestly for anyone. My grandfather is 80 years old and he has always opened my car door and insists that I go into a building first. That would be a little ridiculous for me to call my 80 year old grandfather a sexist for doing so.
3. I am a feminist and I do believe cat-calling, rape culture, and slut-shaming are real and serious issues in society.
As an active member of BAVO (Belles Against Violence), I strongly support advocacy to raise attention towards sexual abuse and relationship violence in society. I believe saying yes to a drink is not saying yes to any further engagements. I believe wearing a skirt out for the night is not “asking for it.” I believe no means no and I believe we should live in a society where women do not need to be afraid of walking down streets at night or even the day alone. These issues, although aimed towards women, also affect men. Men are also victims of rape and relationship violence. We may find it funny when we see a women yelling at her boyfriend in public but also become concerned when the roles are reversed. Feminism supports equality treatment of the genders and both genders need a voice of reason and support.
4. I am a feminist and I do believe in equal pay for women.
This is one of the biggest concerns from the feminist perspective. Women are now in high corporate roles, managing positions, and earning high education degrees. We do deserve the right to equal pay and equal consideration for career positions. We should not be discriminated against for job opportunities because of possible pregnancies and a menstrual cycle.
5. I am a feminist and I do believe empowering young girls is a key component to social reform.
If we keep limiting young girls to certain career paths, education, and sports then they can never reach their full potential as an influential member of society. Older generations need to take on the responsibility in encouraging young girls to do what makes them happy, and not because it is female oriented.
Do these beliefs sound like such a serious crime against society? Are they contrary to popular stereotypes belief? My main goal is to get people to realize that feminism is about empowerment and gaining equality for those who need a voice! There is nothing wrong with a date treating you to dinner or opening your door. Society has somehow gained the misconception that the main goal of feminism is to assert dominance in every social interaction with men. It’s a shame that there are negative connotations associated with feminism denying basic and kind everyday gestures. The more we get people to realize these are rational feminist beliefs, the better we can make our society for the future.