I’ve been in a relationship since I was 16 years old, until this last January I went from one relationship to the other. I decided I wanted to experiment being single in college and broke up with my long distance boyfriend. I’ve always been super careful, condoms were always a must in my past relationships, even if I was on birth control, and even more now. I’ve never had sex without a condom and the plan is to never do so. Not to brag but… I’ve never gotten a pregnancy scare or gotten any STDs. I changed a lot since I started college so I wanted to get to know myself as a new single woman. I got into dating apps and started to meet a lot of new people, and some of them I wanted to have sex with so I put a couple of rules for myself:
- Ask if they have any STDs and when was the last time they got tested
STDs are real, and you should always ask if the person you’re about to have sex with has been tested before Sometimes people don’t show symptoms so getting tested is the only way to really know.
According to the U. S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an average of 40,000 to 80,000 new cases of HIV are reported each year in the U.S. It is estimated that half of all new infections are among people younger than 25.
Compared to the general population, adolescents have one of the fastest increasing rates of HIV infection; an average of two young people are infected with HIV every hour of every day.
Through December 2000, CDC statistics show 774,467 reported AIDS cases; 4,061 cases were among teenagers 13 to 19 years of age.
So yeah, be safe.
2. Ask if they’re a virgin
A few months ago I was about to have sex with this guy I met on Tinder. We’d been on a few dates, the guy was chill, respectful, very cute and a great kisser, so… one night I invited him over to my place. We started making out and getting in the mood so he got up to grab a condom and I noticed that suddenly he got super nervous. I didn’t make a big deal out of- it was our first time having sex together, it’s understandable- but he got so nervous that he kind of started shaking and his hard on died. He kept trying to do things but I stopped him and asked him why he was so nervous and if he was okay. He took the deepest breath I’ve ever witnessed and he told me he was a virgin. He kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” as I kept repeating “for what?”. The mood died so we put our clothes back on and I asked him why he didn’t tell me. He answered by saying that he was ashamed and thought I wouldn’t have sex with him if I knew. I honestly don’t know what I would have done in the moment if I did knew, but I still believe it’s important to let someone know if you’re a virgin.
The situation could have gone well anyways. I could’ve taken control of the situation and guided the act or maybe I wouldn’t have been comfortable with that and not gone completely through with it but I believe it was my right to know if I was about to ‘take someone’s virginity”. Losing your virginity doesn’t necessarily need to be this super special moment, but it is important to be comfortable and feel safe with the other person, and by letting the other person know you let them know how to take the situation on.
3. Ask if they have condoms
Please use a condom, you don’t want STDs and I’m guessing you don’t wanna get pregnant either. Condoms are your friend.
4. Always carry a condom
Boys sometimes either don’t want to use condoms or they don’t buy any cause the don’t wanna assume you want to have sex with them, so if the situation comes along its always good to have some around.
5. This is the important part…
DON’T FUCK THEM IF NEITHER OF YOU HAVE CONDOMS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON’T KNOW THEM TOO WELL.
6. If you have an accident take Plan B AS SOON AS YOU CAN
The sooner you take Plan b the more effective it is going to be. if you wait more than 24 hours the chances of it working reduces.
7. You are allowed to say no.
If someday you don’t feel like having sex U CAN ALWAYS SAY NO. Take advantage of this word, use it as much as you want, and don’t be afraid to use it. Your body is only yours.
Sources:
STDs statistics
http://www.idph.state.il.us/public/respect/hiv_fs.htm
Plan B
https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/plan-b#1