Last semester, I went through a horrendous friendship breakup that included me moving out, dealing with being posted about on social media, and ultimately finding myself with a lot of alone time. However, this time taught me how to become my own best friend and enjoy spending time by myself. Here are some of my best tools for finding comfort within yourself!
Hobbies
I started to indulge in my hobbies a lot more. Playing guitar, crocheting, painting, and exercising kept my mind and my hands busy. I would put on my favorite music, and zone out while doing something I enjoy. Now, whenever I am feeling down, I remind myself of the talents I have, what I can do to entertain myself, and what I am good at!
Stop Criticizing Yourself
I have had a really difficult time liking myself throughout my whole life. Recently, I began to stop criticizing my physical imperfections, instead reminding myself what my body is doing for me. Whenever I felt insecure about my stomach, I thought about how my organs were helping my body function. I applied this thinking to everything: my hair keeps me warm, and how lucky I am to have such long hair; my skin is breaking out, but it will heal, and it’s amazing that my body can do that. Practicing gratitude for my body led me to accept it for the first time in my life. This leads me to my next point…
Practice Gratitude.
Sounds cheesy, yes, but it works. I don’t keep a gratitude journal, but I correct my negative thoughts to gratitude. When I believe I am doing badly in a class, I think how amazing it is I am even in college, and I can go get help. I became more grateful for the friends I had, and how they listened and stuck by me regardless.
Stop Comparison
I have also struggled a lot with comparing myself to others. Girls on the internet, my friends, my family, my sorority, you name it, I compared my appearance, successes, and personality to everyone. I came across the phrase “Another woman’s beauty does not take away from your own,” and that flipped my way of thinking. When I see a girl with perfect hair, or skin, or a perfect job or relationship, I admire how amazing that is, and how beautiful she is, and realize that her beauty does not make me less beautiful.
Take Time to Learn About Yourself
Why do people like me? Why do they want to spend time with me? Answer these questions, and see yourself how others do. My best friend told me I was one of the nicest people on the planet on a day when I felt like the biggest assh*le because I had gotten into an argument with my boyfriend. Once I realized the positive aspects of myself overtake the negative, I began to truly love myself.
Ignore the Negative
People who do not like you have no input in your life! People who you do not like have no effect on your life! People who make you anxious, sad, angry, and upset constantly have no place being involved in your day to day. That was a hard pill to swallow, but once I did, I realized that negative input was dragging me down, and changing me into someone I’m not. I spent so much time trying to be perfect to so many people, I took no time to consider what being “perfect” was to me, and the kind of person I wanted to be. Since taking that look at my life, I have found much more peace within.
Being your own best friend takes a lot of work, and I still have my bad days. However, I’ve learned that bad days happen, and not to wallow in my misery. It can be difficult, but it can be done.