Okay ladies, it’s that time of year again. Ahh yes, Valentine’s Day. All you taken ladies love it. All you single gals dread it. However, for those who find themselves on the fence in a relationship, it’s a day of mass confusion. You’re at that stage where you’re “talking” but not FBO. He’s more than a hookup, but not exactly your boyfriend. Well I’m sorry to break it to you, but Cupid is too busy this year taking care of the McDonald’s eating, wine chugging, lonely souls to deal with your easily solved problem. Thank god you have us ;)
With Valentine’s Day quickly aproaching, I’m guessing you are currently doubting not only the big day itself, but also the existence of your non-existent relationship. I’m sure there are a plethora of questions attacking your mind: How do I DTR (define the relationship) before the big day? Should I ask about V-day plans? Should I get him something? What is an appropriate gift? Is he even going to get me a gift? What should I even expect for the date? First, take a Xanax and chill the f*** out. Next, be mindful: one question at a time please.
Step One: How to DTR before Valentine’s Day
This is probably the most important advice you will ever hear, so please, take notes: DO NOT EVER WAIT FOR A GUY. Do you actually think one of these days he will look up from Sports Center to give you a clue as to what he considers your relationship? Hell, no! Push your boobs up, spritz yourself with that oh-so-sweet perfume he loves, and grab his attention. Be confident and straightforward. Avoid phrases such as, “I don’t know about you, but…” and “Depends on how you feel, but….” Also avoid following up your speech with, “I totally understand if you don’t want that yet.” Put yourself first and don’t agree to what he says just so you don’t come off as “crazy” or “clingy.” If he’s still staring at that chick’s ass on the TV, run for the hills!
…But here’s the twist: DO NOT TRY TO DTR THE WEEK BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY. V-day is already a looming topic. Trying to define your relationship just a few days before the holiday makes you seem desperate for a label and for a gift.
Step Two: How to approach V-day plans
We’re just gonna go ahead and mark this one DANGER ZONE: HANDLE WITH CARE. Most likely your not-so-serious bf is seeing V-day as just another date, maybe just a little more special. Instead of taking you to Taco Bell, he may wine and dine you at Applebee’s. So to avoid any awkwardness, don’t bring up Valentines Day directly. Instead, just ask him on a regular date that just so happens to be on the same day!
You could say suggest something like this: “Hey! Do you want to get dinner next Saturday?” (Why yes, that would be the 14th of February).
If your man is romantically inclined, he may surprise you and have something already planned! But, let’s be real– we’re not even sure most guys know there’s only 28 days in February, let alone the actual date of Valentine’s Day.
Step Three: Gift giving
Our advice is to leave the scrapbook you’ve been making with heart shaped photos and snap chats you took of him when he wasn’t looking at home. In fact, we recommend not giving him anything. Odds are he probably won’t get you anything either. How mortifying would that be if you showed up with a thoughtful gift and he strolls in empty-handed? If, however, the young man in question has some sense in his brain and shows up with flowers and chocolates, be genuine and thankful. Worried about coming empty-handed? Don’t worry ladies, you’ve got a gift that will always work.
Step Four: Date expectations
Your expectations for this date should be about as low as the grade you received on your last exam. Do not go in there expecting him to pop the girlfriend question by the end of the date, or you’re just going to look like one of those over emotional psychos who don’t get a rose from the bachelor by the end of the episode. When you don’t have expectations, you won’t be disappointed. Keep it simple, keep it fun.
Tip: Tell him what you are going wear a few days ahead of time so he knows not to show up in his tuxedo carrying a bunch of roses (even though we highly doubt that was his plan).
So there you have it girls, our guide to surviving V-day (Doomsday) with your not-so-serious boyfriend! Have fun and relax! If all else fails, you can always fake your death, change your name, and jet off to a different country. XOXO –Her Campus Sacred Heart