The time has finally come – you’re leaving home and starting a new chapter of your life. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Maybe for most. For myself, on the other hand, as an 18-year-old who had never partied and had never been away from home for more than five days, I was terrified.
A lot of people think university is all about partying asserting yourself in the right spot on the social ladder. I’m here to tell you this is not the case. There is partying but university is nothing like high school.
There is a misconception that you need to act a certain way to fit in. Society norms have outlined what’s seen as ‘cool’ and what’s not but in university, you get to wipe that social slate clean.
Whether you were ‘popular’ in high school or not, it doesn’t matter in university. You’re in a whole new world, with new people and a new environment. You can even start over if you want.
My social life in high school was one of my biggest insecurities. I struggled with making friends but I did manage to get a few good ones when it was all over.
University turned my whole social life around and introduced me to so many new amazing people. Be positive and open – good things are coming for you.
If you’re like me, worried that your lack of ‘party-experience’ will put you behind all the other freshmen, do not stress one bit! Trust me, it’s not that big of a deal.
Last year, when frosh week finally arrived, I was freaking out. I thought, “Will I fit in?” and “Will people still invite me?” and “What if no one wants to hang out with me?”
I was heading to my first party in my residence building and didn’t have any friends yet. I was nervous and my hands were getting clammy.
I walked into the room and was immediately greeted by an incredibly inclusive environment and by a very welcoming host, who is now one of my best friends. At the beginning of the night, I was really shy and didn’t know how to act but as the night went on, I was having a really good time. We went out to a concert, took cute pictures and I got to meet so many new people that are still in my life today. When I was in that moment, I wasn’t worried about fitting in or whether I was ‘cool enough’ to even be hanging out with my new friends; I didn’t even care.
These worries I had before starting university were completely washed away after that first night. The thought of me not having enough experience in the partying aspect of university never crossed my mind again.
So to break it down, if you’re in this situation, here’s my advice:
Don’t Stress
Do not stress about your lack of experience. When you get there, no one is going to care and university is definitely not all about partying.
You’re not ‘behind’ everyone else at all.
The party-aspect of university is definitely something that is heavily advertised by word of mouth and social media but often that is just a tactic used to attract students to attend the school. University has something for everyone. There are clubs, teams, intramurals and basically anything else you could think of.
If you’re going to stress about anything before going into university, stress about the fact that you’re going to need to, unfortunately, buy your own groceries (if you’re living on your own).
Just be sure to go out when you want to, do your homework and never forget to call your mom.
Don’t give in to peer pressure
If everyone’s going out and wants to party it up but you don’t, don’t go.
Always do what’s best for you. I know you’re scared you might catch a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) but in the grand scheme of things, you’re the one who’s going to suffer by going somewhere you do not want to.
The school year is long! You have so much time to party and have a good time but the grades you get in school are important so put them first.
Last year, on one of the last Thursday nights of the school year, my friend and I were invited out to a party with our friends. We had our final politics exam the next day but I was still so torn because I knew I was going to have really bad FOMO from not going.
My friend and I talked some sense into each other and stayed in and it was the best decision we could have made. That exam was hard and tiring and if we had gone out the night before, I don’t think we would’ve succeeded the next day.
University is a fresh start and is going to change your life. The party life is fun but it took me a minute to get there.
The possibilities are endless out there, live your university life the way you want to.
I’ve heard these are going to be the best years of our lives.