By: Caroline Rodway
As the spooky season ends and the holiday season comes up quickly, it seems like everyone I talk to has one thing on their brain – parties. And look, I love hallo-weekend as much as the next girl, but in all honesty, I don’t like parties at all. Do I love dressing up? Yes. Do I love seeing my friends? Yes. Do I love staying up late, being shoulder-to-shoulder with people I don’t know? Not really, no.
I know not all parties are like that, but being introverted means every invitation to a social gathering invites the possibility of putting myself in a situation where I can’t escape and recharge my batteries if I need to.
Something to note here is that not all introverts are the same, and not all activities mean the same thing for all of us. The way I explain it is that I have a certain level of social interactions which I can handle every day. On days where I’m stressed, or tired, or just having a bad day, that level gets lower. But there are other days where my ability to socially participate is exceptionally high. What makes saying yes to invitations so tricky is that I don’t know where my level is going to be at any given day. It makes me feel even worse if I need to cancel the day of, so usually, I just end up saying no right away.
Another thing to note here is that not all activities require as much of my social energy. It is more likely that I will say yes to a small gathering at a friend’s house with wine and pizza than it is that I will say yes to going out to the club with people from work and their friends. It’s all about balance.
So when the time comes to make a decision about Halloween, Christmas, homecoming or any other occasion – there are a few things to take into consideration. This applies to those who identify as introverts, and those at the hosting end of the occasion.
The first determining factor of whether I will hit up a party is: who else is going? As much as I am capable of going out on my own, I am not always comfortable conversing with strangers and making friends as I go. Therefore, it’s comforting knowing that someone I know (or even better someone I’m friends with) will also be there in case I need a ‘social crutch.’ It’s important to note that this friend won’t abandon me halfway through the evening. When I get invited to things that my close friends are also invited to, it is almost certain that I will also attend since I know I’ll be able to hang with them.
I also always think about what the vibe of the party is going to be. I much prefer the smaller house party atmosphere to the huge frat party “I don’t even know whose basement this is” type rager. It basically comes down to if I will be able to find a quieter place during the event or not. It is not uncommon for me to hide out in the washroom for a couple of minutes simply to escape all the noise.
When it comes to going out, I definitely prefer being the wallflower than the social butterfly. So it’s nice knowing if I’m going to be attending something that is lowkey, where I can float through conversations as I please, or if I have to expect people bouncing off the walls and taking body shots left and right.
Overall, the whole ‘going out every weekend’ college student aesthetic just isn’t for me. I have had a lot of trouble accepting that about myself. But keeping the above in mind, I have found my ways to make it out to some parties, while still skipping the ones I know just isn’t for me.
If any of this resonates with you, please reach out! We should start an introvert’s holiday retreat or something.