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Sex + Relationships

What To Do When He’s Just Not That Into You

Hey, it happens… you think he’s the one for you and then BAM- you’re blindsided and then kicked to the curb. Maybe you’re the “other woman,” or maybe things turned vanilla, and he got bored, or maybe he was just too nice and couldn’t find a way to let you down easy, so you were strung along. You fell for him in some way but he’s just not into you, making you feel anxious, upset, like you’re doubting yourself. Your confidence is gone, it’s out the window, because if you were the perfect girl, he should want to be with you no matter what or who is in the picture.


But no matter what it was, it’s not anything anymore, and, as much as it sucks, that’s okay! At this point, there’s nothing that can be done to undo the past or change his mind (why would you want to anyway, his loss).  So, take it from me, and trust me on this one, move on. Stop making up fictitious ideas about him and move on with grace, and with a passion and excitement that will open the door to newness. Now, I know that it’s easier said than done but there are other ways to fill the void, like creating a relationship with your dreams, focusing on the Energy Givers, and accepting and working on the most alive and feminine (or masculine) version of you.


Get that confidence back up, right now. Connect to the things that you love, dress up so you can walk, talk, and smile with more confidence. You’re not born with confidence, yes for some it may come more naturally, but if you’re someone who struggles with this- create it. It might not be easy but I’m telling you, it’s doable. Once you get your confidence back up, you can play your strengths so you can get in touch with your greatness. Remind yourself, that it’s not you, it’s him.


I went to an all-girls school in high school, and my friends and I were always, and occasionally still are, involved with boys who screwed us over. We were always secretly hoping that a boy would come along and be perfect and care about and love us…but looking back; we didn’t even know or love all of ourselves. Thank God those past relationships didn’t work… you can never be with someone until you’re content with yourself and can know your worth as a human being.


Be abundant in all parts of your life. Realize that there is more to life than a boy that broke your heart. Get realistic, there really are a million fish in the sea! If one fish can’t see your greatness (and you might not be showing it if you’re not happy with yourself), step into abundance and accept that there are other options that can step into the shoes you want to have filled (and can do it even better than the last guy) by choosing you! This is what matters.       


Energy Givers are going to vary from person to person but focusing more time and energy on them is going to help you glow and feel yellow on the inside so that you can burst with yellow on the outside! For me, my Energy Givers, to name a few, are pets, strawberry ice cream, small woodland creatures, warm air, music, people who smile at strangers, clean spaces, reaching my goals, and plants. Thinking about these things and spending my time on enjoying them allow for me to drain out the negativity with positivity.  Try it!            


Once you can confidently and honestly show up and show out, you’ll start to attract the type of people that are meant to be in your life- the ones that are worthwhile. Discover and express yourself, let other people see that part of you so that they can choose you, and you can choose them. Get better at what you love and get living! Everything happens for a reason, emerge from the heartbreak, and accept it so that you can enjoy your life. Time is precious, you shouldn’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t want it.   

Hello! My name is Emily Marshall and I am a senior at Roger Williams University. I love to read, write, travel, and spend time with my friends and family. Her Campus is so important to me because I believe that empowering women and supporting one another is essential in the world we live in today.