You’ve probably seen or heard a good amount of tips for how to keep a healthy, long distance romantic relationship. However, long distance friendships are just as important, especially when going to college. Our friends from back home are often people we grew up with. They know us so well and share a lot of memories. These friendships are important to help ground us while we try to learn and grow through new experiences and relationships away at school. They’re the reliable relationships to fall back on when you need advice. Keeping these friends close can be really hard as we prioritize meeting new people, so here are some tips to check in and keep a great friendship going.
1. Send Money for a Coffee
Whether through CashApp, Venmo or any other money transfer app, send a couple bucks to buy your friend a coffee. Send a little note and let them know you’re thinking of them. Maybe it’s a Monday and you want to start their week with a nice surprise, or you saw on Twitter they’re having a bad day. Simple small gestures like this are the easiest way to send your friend some love and remind them you care about your friendship.
2. Send the Random Stuff that Reminds You of Them
Whenever you’re scrolling through your socials, send them the posts that remind you of them. It’s a great way to show you’re thinking of them and also an easy way to start a chat if you haven’t talked in a while. Remember, you guys definitely won’t talk as much as you did before college. It’s totally fine to go days or weeks without talking if you are super busy. Healthy distance relationships shouldn’t feel like work or something that requires constant maintenance. As you guys grow and live different lives, checking in every now and then with a post can be a simple sweet way to catch up.
3. Try the Cappuccino App
If you’re like me and still very close with your hometown besties, then maybe you want to connect more and stay up to date with their lives. The Cappuccino app allows you to record voice memos, called beans. The beans get compiled into a podcast-style audio clip that everyone in the group can listen to. If something exciting happens to my friends, they’ll record beans and I get to listen to them share stories on my way to class in the morning like a podcast. The app is free with an easy interface.
4. Never Forget Birthdays
Make sure you’ve got birthdays down in whatever calendar app you use and reminders set. How you celebrate is totally up to you, maybe it’s sending a box of goodies or having flowers delivered or even just sending a thoughtful text. But never forget to show you care on their birthday.
5. Call/FaceTime
This tip is obvious, but easy to forget. It’s not always easy to set aside time for a lengthy call to catch up. My personal solution for this is to FaceTime when my friend and I are both doing things that don’t require a ton of attention but we’re still being productive. For example, FaceTiming or calling while cooking or tidying up is often when I get a chance to talk to my friends. Oftentimes my friend is drawing or doing simple tasks as well. Communicate about if you feel like you’re too stressed to make time for them at the moment. It’s absolutely okay to admit you have too much going on, or you have other plans. However, try your best to make catching up a priority at least once in a while.
As easy as it is to get caught up in meeting as many new people as possible at college, try to remember how important your long term friendships from home are. It’s great to start new but it’s also grounding and comforting to have people back home who care. For me, my friendships from home have been essential to my mental health and happiness. And also remember that as much as you need someone to vent to, so do they. Check in on your friends and help them out as you guys try to figure things out in college. All relationships go both ways.