Listen, I’ll be the first to tell you, I do not have my shit together. From the outside, it may seem as though I do; I do well in my classes, I have an active social life and I am involved in extracurricular activities that I love. However, that really isn’t the full picture. As someone who has always struggled with keeping their emotions and anxieties in check, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to feel like you’re really losing it every once in a while.
Now, this may seem like terrible advice, but allow me to explain myself. It’s a common misconception that once you graduate college, you need to have everything figured out in your life. You get told that once you get to college you’ll meet the love of your life, find your true passion and graduate with a job lined up for you once you cross that stage. From my perspective, that is one of the most harmful ways to think while you’re in the phase of life that we’re all in.
I remember when I was in middle school, I thought 25 was old. Yep, I really did. Now looking at it, when you’re 25, you’re still practically still a kid except for the fact that you have more financial freedom and more responsibilities. When you’re growing up you get fed this false narrative that once you graduate, you’re an adult. While legally, that is true, it doesn’t mean you need to have every single thing in your life figured out.
I admit that I have fallen victim to this way of thinking and still do sometimes. I struggle with anxiety every day and right now, it seems almost uncontrollable. If I start to think about graduation being less than a month away, the fact that I have no job lined up or even a lead, not wanting to move back in with my parents and leaving my friends behind, I start to totally tweak out. However, since I’ve started feeling that way, I have gotten better at bringing myself back down to earth once my mind starts racing.
Here’s my advice: give yourself a f******* break. If you’re feeling the way I am, you’re barely in your twenties, you don’t need to have it all figured out by the end of May. Not to say you shouldn’t be on the LinkedIn grind, because you should, but you don’t need to let it consume your thoughts 24/7. Log in and get on the job search when you feel motivated to. Not when your mom tells you to, not when your professor tells you to, when you decide it’s time.
It is important to let yourself feel your anxieties and stresses every once in a while, because without doing that, they will never get released or relieved. However, it is equally as important to master the art of grounding yourself again. Everyone is different, but if I can feel the hamster wheel start to spin, I exercise, make myself a nice meal or listen to music to bring myself back to a calm place. Find what works for you, and stick to it. Whether it be journaling, meditating, driving or hanging out with your friends, find something that distracts you.
It is more than okay to feel scared and anxious when any large change is on the horizon in your life, it’s natural. I’m here to tell you that your feelings are valid, but also remind you that you’ve got to give yourself a break. Go be in your 20’s, have fun, there’s only so much time before the big 3-0 is going to be coming up. Work hard and advance your life and career, but remember to sit back, binge your favorite show or have a wine night with your girls in the meantime.