Kidz Bop has been avoided like rotten fruit. Who is even buying their albums (AKA encouraging them to make more)? It’s like a sad children’s choir singing contemporary songs.
However, there is a little gem inside this all.
On a whim, my apartmentmates were being funny and started playing some Kidz Bop. At first, I grimaced and protested against this music choice. Our ears instantly perked when we heard some lyric changes to Drake’s “One Dance.” We immediately had questions. What were the original lyrics, and how bad was it so that they changed them? What did the kids just sing? WHAT OTHER SONGS HAVE THEY DONE THIS TOO?
We sat down and did a little research.
All About that Bass – Meghan Trainor
This song is literally about butts and curves. To make this more wholesome, Kidz Bop turned it into a song about dance moves! Also for some reason they replaced “silicone Barbie” with “plastic Barbie.” Same thing? Perhaps they thought silicone was too complicated a word for children. Who knows. Here’s the Kidz Bop version if you’re interested.
The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars
What do you do on a lazy day? Hopefully what these kids are doing! Throwing your hands in the air wow! Also no cursing for these children, not even “freaking” allowed. Anyone remember that part in the song where Bruno talks about sex? That’s definitely not for these kids! If you’re curious about what they say instead, feel free to find out.
Toxic – Britney Spears
It’s the weirdest thing to hear children imitate Britney Spears, especially since her voice is complete seduction in this song. Surprisingly this song is one of the few with little to no lyrics edited. Even more surprising is how accurate the song sounds to the original. Maybe it’s because it is one of the earlier albums. Listen to it here!! Or not. You’re probably better off listening to the original.
Hot N Cold – Katy Perry
That iconic beginning verse was too risqué for children, so of course that had to go. During the bridge it’s also odd that they replaced “bipolar” with “disorder.” Otherwise, the rest of the song is the same as the original besides being sung by prepubescents. You can watch the music video in all it’s confused, wholesome glory here.
And last but not least…
Anaconda – Nicki Minaj
At some point, Kidz Bop realized it was just a bad idea in general with this song, so they took it down. But to their credit, they tried to make it about snakes and friends instead of butts and lovers. Here are the lyrics since I can’t find an actual audio clip. This you should definitely check out.
I think at the end of the day, what really caught our attention was how wholesome it all was. I mean it should be, since it’s for children, but there’s something funny about how hard they try to make something pure. When the world is being difficult and ugly, there are always Kidz Bop songs to make it… something else for sure.