What To Do When Your Social and Political Views Clash With Your Partner’s

So you finally mustered up the courage to start talking to your crush in your political science class (yasss girl!), and you decide to do a little bit of cyberstalking. You’re scrolling through his Insta and lo and behold, there it is- a picture of him with not just any red cap… the “Make America Great Again,” red cap.  

Let’s be real, we all have a fairytale vision of what our perfect partner is like, down to how they think. Although it may be unfair, we tend to get in our feelings when the person in front of us doesn’t match the person we dreamed up in our head. So, what happens when your partner’s views come out, and you realize you both aren’t on the same wave politically? While it may seem discouraging, it is still possible to try and make a relationship work! Check out these tips:

Relax!

Chances are you peeped something your partner tweeted, posted on Insta, or flat out said in front of you, that has you in complete shock. Take a deep breath, and calm down your urge to ask if they’re crazy, heartless, and/or ignorant. That is not at all productive, nor is it going to help the (awkward) predicament you’ve found yourself in.

If you fly off the handle, block them, or give them the silent treatment, not only will it make you look crazy (total turn off), but it will also speak to your level of maturity. Learning to respond calmly when someone disagrees with you, is not only good for a healthy relationship, but also a helpful skill to have in life. I mean let’s face it, not everyone is going to agree with you on everything. When that happens, take a moment to process before popping off on your partner and try to be attentive.

Ask Questions & Listen

Most of us didn’t come out of the womb with our staunch political and social views. Ask your partner why he or she feels the way they do. Perhaps they grew up in a mostly conservative family, but are starting to become more liberal, or vice versa. There are infinite reasons people have the beliefs they do. As young adults, we are still growing and learning. Just because they may come from a family that identifies one way politically, does not necessarily mean your partner identifies the same way.

Speak Up

 

Now that you gave your partner a platform to fully express their thoughts, it’s time to speak up for yourself! While you don’t want to come off as overbearing or condescending, you have a right to express your views too. It’s important to note: if you and your partner are trying to get to know each other, you both should be upfront. Don’t change how you feel just to appease your partner, or out of the fear they will think of you differently. If they still want to talk to you once everything is out in the open, great! If they decide that they no longer have interest in you because of your opinions, then so be it.

At the end of the day, there are plenty of other fish in the sea that may be more willing to hear you out and accept you for who you are. Either way be yourself!

Use Your Judgment

 

In today’s sensitive political climate, it can be said that how people feel about the legislative actions by our federal government can be indicative of our behavior, and arguably, our morality.

I’ll be honest- there are certain deal breakers I have when it comes to how my potential partner thinks when it comes to social issues and politics. I’m not afraid to admit that I haven’t taken the advice I’m giving you queens in this article, especially the first tip (oops). I recently cut a guy off without a shred of warning because he casually expressed support for a policy that I saw as unjust and inhumane.

If you don’t place a large amount of importance on how your partner thinks when it comes to politics and social issues, perhaps you identifying as a Republican and your partner identifying as a Democrat won’t be an issue. Crisis averted!  On the other hand, if you’re like me, you may want to re-evaluate whether you want to take your romantic relationship any further if you are polar opposites.

Essentially, this boils down to personal preference in terms of your comfort level. Regardless of the path you decide to take, remember to be cordial, be yourself and don’t forget to vote, okurrr!

-R